Hello

[Doglover95]

Don't really know how to start or what to say, so I'll just do a brief overview.


So I think I have C-PTSD (well everyone says I do).

The PTSD symptoms started in January, I was driving to work and I got this memory come through (I didn't think anything of it at the time) well it got worse from there.

I started getting more and more things come through, (got told they were flashbacks) and just tried to deal with it, well that didn't work, I couldn't handle what was going on in my head.

Then it got worse, I started getting these fleeting memories of stuff that happened to me that I wasn't even aware of happened.

So flash forward to now, I've been going around and around with mental health services, they are finally looking at a PTSD diagnosis, work are also suggesting this is the diagnosis.

I'm trying to do everything I can to help, I'm doing therapy, I've been doing grounding work nothing seems to help when they get intense and when I mean intense they go around and around in my head constantly one after the other and I feel everything that I should of felt at the time. I've been on the floor shaking for over 2 hours before and no one seems to know what to do or how to help.

I don't sleep much, I wake myself up, I'm constantly exhausted mentally and physically, I feel broken and I don't know where to turn or what to do.

[Kizzie]

Hi DogLover, welcome to Out of the Storm! 

The first thing you may want to do is get a proper diagnosis.

You may have PTSD which usually results from a single, time limited event like a car accident or being in a natural disaster.

Or, you may have experienced sexual/physical/emotion abuse and/or neglect over a longer period of time typically beginning in childhood and that typically leads to the development of Complex PTSD.

If it's the first then you likely have PTSD and 3 symptoms: 1) reexperiencing the trauma (e.g., flashbacks); avoiding people, places and/or things associated with the trauma; and, 3) hypervigilance (i.e., being constantly on guard).

If it's the latter (CPTSD), then you will have the above 3 symptoms plus another 3 including: 4) problems with relationships; 5) emotional dysregulation; and 6) a negative self-image.

So, maybe start by figuring out what caused you to feel the way you do and whether you have PTSD or Complex PTSD.   

[Doglover95]

Yeah it's likely to be C-PTSD, years of sexual abuse, physical and emotional abuse.

I'm pushing for a diagnosis but I'm yet to be referred to psychology, but hopefully that's going to be soon and I can get a proper diagnosis.

[Marcine]

Hi Doglover95,
Welcome to Out of the Storm. This is an amazing place for support, resources, and camaraderie.

If you have a chance, get your hands on Pete Walker's book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving", it covers all the basics and a whole lot more.
You might find it useful.

Again, welcome!

[TheBigBlue]

Hi Doglover95,

I'm really glad you found your way here, though I'm very sorry for what brought you.

What you describe sounds incredibly overwhelming and exhausting, especially the constant flashbacks, the shaking, the lack of sleep, and feeling like nobody quite knows how to help. You do not sound "broken" to me; you sound like someone whose nervous system has been under extreme stress for a very long time.

Sometimes things stay buried until the system is finally safe enough (or overwhelmed enough) for them to start emerging.

I'm glad you're pushing for proper trauma-informed support and a psychology referral. You deserve help from people who understand CPTSD and trauma responses.

There are a lot of resources here on the forum, and you're not alone in this here. 💛

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum, Doglover95
Sorry you need us, but as that's the case, glad you found us.

Sounds like cptsd to me, just basing that on years of abuse of all kinds.

January to May is not a long time when talking about getting over the affects of cptsd, it can take much longer for the grounding exercises to work reliably when you're in full-blown flashback mode, shaking on the floor. I mean I'm sure you're doing everything you can to help yourself at the moment, kudos to you!

There is lots of information and experience on this forum. I hope that can help you some while you wait for a diagnosis and trauma-informed therapy and support.