introduction

[WhatsNext]

Hello everyone.

As my user name suggests I'm looking for whats next on my healing journey.  Was a late baby scoop era adoptee, closed like most were back then, weird family dynamic in the adoptive which I carried forward into a marriage with a toxic spouse, she never was diagnosed but behavior wise was bpd with some co-morbidities.  She's long gone. She died this year.  Nah, I don't grieve that.  I have a lot of relief. 

I honestly do not know if I have cptsd or ptsd or I mean the adaptations I did as a child was to get through.  The childhood wasn't all bad, wasn't all good either.  and the marriage started alright and gradually got worse over time.  So I wonder about that as well. 

thanks for having me     

[TheBigBlue]

Hi WhatsNext, and a warm welcome to OOTS!

I'm sorry nobody has welcomed you yet. I'm a little late to the party myself, but I'm glad you found us.

It sounds like you have had quite a complicated journey, from your childhood and adoption experiences to a marriage that became increasingly difficult. And I think it's important that you don't have to justify feeling relief rather than grief about your former spouse's death.

You don't need to have all the answers about PTSD or CPTSD to belong here. Sometimes it takes a long time to understand how our experiences have shaped us, especially when things weren't simply all good or all bad.

I hope you find some understanding, useful perspectives, and companionship here as you explore what's next on your healing journey.

[WhatsNext]

Hi WhatsNext, and a warm welcome to OOTS!

I'm sorry nobody has welcomed you yet. I'm a little late to the party myself, but I'm glad you found us.

It sounds like you have had quite a complicated journey, from your childhood and adoption experiences to a marriage that became increasingly difficult. And I think it's important that you don't have to justify feeling relief rather than grief about your former spouse's death.

You don't need to have all the answers about PTSD or CPTSD to belong here. Sometimes it takes a long time to understand how our experiences have shaped us, especially when things weren't simply all good or all bad.

I hope you find some understanding, useful perspectives, and companionship here as you explore what's next on your healing journey.

Thank you TheBigBlue.  Glad to have found this space and people.