Hi there.

[joboozle]

My sister and I started this journey last year, where we spoke about our childhoods and how things didn't make sense for us.  And during this journey, I finally told her the truth about what my brother had done to me, and the abuse I endured.  I told her how our parents lied to the cops and called me a liar and so I just never spoke about it again.  She believed me.  The only person in my family to have.  I finally told my husband, and started therapy.  Things had been going well for the last few months, our father respecting our boundaries about having our brother around us or our children (I have not seen my brother in almost two years now).  And I thought I was getting better, working passed things.  I've been searching for a new therapist as my old one got a chance to pursue her dream job and I've been commended EMDR therapy so finding a therapist who does that and takes my insurance has been a struggle. 
With the holidays coming up, I've been much more on edge, and was scared my brother would just happen to show up at my dads while we were there.  He didn't, so my sister and I felt like it was okay to ask him about Christmas.  We were told if we can't "talk it out" or get "through this stuff" then Christmas would be canceled again.  And now I feel like I'm back at square one. 
Nightmares are back, anxiety is back, all of it.  So I guess I'm just trying to find some support from people who might know what I'm going through.  My husband tries, but he doesn't understand and it's not something anyone I know in person do either.