New here - thanks for this forum

[stann]

Just happy to join a forum, maybe it will help with my healing process. Looking forward to learning about everyone and hearing your words of wisdom...

I'm Stann, gender fluid, late 20s, living in the middle of nowhere in the desert which makes it hard to connect with people. I live alone, with my service dog, and I work fulltime (for now...) trying to keep everything afloat. I was diagnosed about 16 months ago and I feel like I've been through so many therapists who cannot help with my inability to cope day-to-day. They seem to want to take my copay for the hour and talk about the new Whole Foods opening or why I get mad that they criticize me for not being "social enough"...

Right now I am struggling most at work because it's my livelihood. I have no family, no friends, no partner to share and responsibilities with; I shoulder it all. My house, my car, my bills, if I lose the job I will be on the streets. The thought that I might lose my job because of how c-Ptsd is affecting me is terrifying. Most days I can barely make it to work on time, let alone function while I am there. I recently started the process of getting ADA accommodation for my duties because I am struggling so hard. The HR department is pretty supportive, but my supervisors are not following the suggestions for my accommodations. In fact, they are putting the onus on me to make things work even though I did my part by applying for the accommodations in the first place. Specifically, I need help with my short-term memory: schedule, goals, etc. I forgot I had to cover someone's shift and no one told me until half way through the hour. I never cover that shift, it's Monday morning, I was trying to do 2 other things my boss sprung on me last minute (including training HER employee for a job she doesn't even know how to do). So I got a nasty phone call, and I hurried down trying to explain, but they didn't care. Now, if I had a quick email note reminding me of the sudden change in my otherwise normal schedule, I would have been there on time. I even printed a list of things that the supervisor can do to help me succeed and they must not have read it. But my bosses don't want to do their job, let alone help me do mine. I feel helpless and burdensome and scared I'll lose my job and everything I've worked so hard for.

Have any of you gone through issues with working and job accommodations? If the boss doesn't hold up their end of the bargain, will I be the one who gets in trouble? Even if they "approve" the accommodations, doesn't that mean they have to follow through and support me? I was never like this before. I'm so frustrated that my brain has changed so much after trauma and I have hardly any control of it but I am being treated like I'm a dingbat who does this all on purpose. Not to mention, my boss breached HR privacy policy by disclosing my personal disability information to the entire staff and even tried to force me to stand up in front of my coworkers and "explain" why I had to have a service dog. Of course I refused and it was a huge deal, which also triggered me and caused me to disassociate for a number of days...The world is so awful and cruel. I don't want to go on disability for work, I probably wouldn't even be able to, but what choice do I have? Any suggestions are helpful. I appreciate your time having read this. I hope everyone is having a better Monday than I am

Stann

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, Stann

With regards to your work situation, I've not worked in a number of years but I'm sure that revealing anything of a personal nature to your co-workers is against the law. I'm sure others here will give you more feedback & support.

Thanks for joining!

[sanmagic7]

hey, stann,

glad you made it here.  i'm not in the workforce anymore, either, so i can't really help with that.  all i can say is that i'm sending you a big cyber hug, and i hope others will be able to help a bit more.  take care of you.

[Kizzie]

Hi Stann - Unfortunately there isn't a lot of info here about work related matters such as accommodations yet anyway.  Part of the problem is that our members are from different countries, and the other is that to date not many of us have the training/experience to speak knowledgeably about the issue(s).

I did a search of what there is to date and it's not much, but here it is:

http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=4284.msg26129#msg26129

http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=1577.msg11136#msg11136   (some good suggestions here from a member)

http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=1806.msg11124#msg11124
 
From the few posts I found it may be that many companies are bound by law to make accommodations but are not exactly embracing it in spirit unfortunately.

It is as you say tremendously difficult to work when you are in recovery and I do know a few members have applied for disability. Is that an option in your situation do you know?  I think your HR department would by law have to tell you what is the process and who to contact, and certainly a physician should be able to help you as well.   There should be local service agencies who are knowledgeable about labour law and can  help too. 

It may take some searching on the Internet and/or some phone calls, but it may be worth the effort. 

[Fen Starshimmer]

Hi Stann, welcome to OOTS from a fellow newbie. 

You are doing incredibly well considering the circumstances you describe. It constantly amazes me how much ignorance there is about CPTSD - even among Ts, let alone HR folk and ordinary work colleagues. I didn't get an official diagnosis of PTSD until recently and I'm 51!  I spent many years in very triggering office environments and other triggering work-related situations and suffered hugely as a result (that's another story). If your work environment is damaging and setting back your recovery, I hope and pray you find another employer or living situation that respects your needs. 

[Kizzie]

Hi again Stann:  I don't know if you're in the US but if so here's some info I found that might be helpful:

Americans with Disabilities Act
Accommodation and Compliance Series: Employees with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
http://askjan.org/media/ptsd.html and download pdf here - http://askjan.org/media/downloads/PTSDA&CSeries.pdf

Job Accommodation Network
West Virginia University
PO Box 6080
Morgantown, WV 26506-6080
Toll Free: (800)526-7234
TTY: (877)781-9403
Fax: (304)293-5407
jan@AskJAN.org
http://askjan.org

The Job Accommodation Network (JAN) is a free consulting service that provides information about job accommodations, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), and the employability of people with disabilities.

Office of Disability Employment Policy
200 Constitution Avenue, NW, Room S-1303
Washington, DC 20210
Toll Free: (866)633-7365
TTY: (877)889-5627
Fax: (202)693-7888
http://www.dol.gov/odep/

The Office of Disability Employment Policy (ODEP) is an agency within the U.S. Department of Labor. ODEP provides national leadership to increase employment opportunities for adults and youth with disabilities while striving to eliminate barriers to employment.

[sandfire]

Hi Stann, I'm no longer working and live in Australia so Im not going to be of any use with the workplace issues but I did want to encourage you to continue trying to find a good Therapist. Ive seen quite a few over the years and it has been a bit of a mixed bag. Like the Woman who sat peering over the top of her glasses at me for an hour, asked me to choose a pen and draw my problem then took one glance at it and said I had chosen the wrong colour ( I chose black and apparently most people choose red ) Luckily it didn't set me back too much as it seemed so ridiculous, I didn't take it on as yet another way I messed up but rather just thought she had no clue Although It did put me off seeing anyone else for a few years. Recently I found a Therapist who is amazing, I really feel that she gets me and she understands my need for baby steps.
I hope you can find someone who can help you to move forward at the pace you need.
much love x