New member

[paradal101]

 

Hello, I am new to the forum an wanted to introduce myself. I was diagnosed with CPTSD from childhood abuse that I didn't realize until i was long out of their house. (I moved at at 20 and was diagnosed at 38 yrs old). I am currently a single mom to 2 boys (12 and 15) both with special needs (unrelated to my CPTSD).  I work in the public health field, in the volunteer fire department as an EMT, and am going to grad school currently. I am seeing a therapist currently and joined this board as I have some questions that only people that have BTDT can answer.  For example when or IF I should tell my sons about my diagnosis or past history of abuse ( my older one triggers me a lot without knowing it), is it normal to 'still' at 41 have 'invisible friends' like when i was 6 (I know they are not real), and should I tell my older son's behavior therapist about my diagnosis (He has Asperger's, ADHD, Severe Anxiety, and mood dysregulation---yes my house can be fun at times). 

Also I wanted to be here just to get the support of others who get it. Who understand that you can't just forget and move on, or let the past stay in the past.

Thank you and I look forward to getting to 'know' you.

A

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, paradal! Yes, you've found a group of people who do "get it".

In my opinion, speaking with your son's therapist is a good place to start. They would not only be able to tell you if your son would be able to handle this information but hopefully have ideas on how best to tell him.

I think I've seen a few people post that they do still have their imaginary friends from childhood. I think it's perfectly normal, we all have coping skills left over from when we were kids.

Again, welcome and thanks for joining! 

[Peggy-Sue]

hi welcome, i work in MH sector and part of my role is to challenge prejudice and stigma, so i would say flip the coin if it was your physical health what would you say to your kids?
i do think its important to get guidance on age appropriate ways to explain very emotionally painful stuff but there is guidance out there...sorry i am in uk so only know whats here Childline for example and young peoples MH sites. I think its important to say we all have mental health good and bad and inbewteen just like physical and that kids have this right as much as adults from any age......
I have explained my anxiety/panic attacks to my ten year old by looking at fight or flight stuff on youtube.....and that its normal to feel unwell , but as with physical it can get better , be managed.
yes family history maybe important for your son's clinician to know, ask them?
have an imagination is a wonderful part of being human , so imaginary friends as long as you know they are , I think is fine. Did you ever see the film "Shirley Valentine" she talked to her kitchen wall everyday and got great comfort from it.
a broken heart needs the same care and attention as a broken leg, immediate care, follow up care and being mindful it will be tender or susceptible to being broken again if stressed in the same way as it broke...Does this make any sense?
at the end of the day you need to do the best for your family situation, you know your kids better than anyone, kids are very sensitive and pick up on stuff but are also very resilient....as survivors of abuse we know this all too well
talking about our mental health although scary is always better in my opinion than bottling up.
As a cache to this I would say I still find talking about my feelings very hard , so don't rush anything and as i say read up on age appropriate ways to talk to kids
i was only recently diagnosed with CPTSD and am still coming to terms with it and still very much in the storm/chaos
people so far on this forum have been extremely kind to me , so i hope you stick around and get support from here as and when you need it
be kind to yourself , you are definitely not alone
take care

[prairiewind]

Hello and welcome. In my experience it's been helpful to my kids that they know I have my own issues so they don't take it personally if I'm sad etc. But it can cause more anxiety in some kids. Their therapist can hopefully advise you.