Could an EF almost look like DID?

[Sasha2727]

Could an emotional flashback almost look like and feel like you have a different personality?

I had a " PTSD dream " a while back very simple phone rings I answer I hear a voice it says " hello , I have ODD ( oppositional defiant disorder ) and I really think it would be best if I get outside ?!"

Shortly after that I find myself flipping into a strange very new to me type of space out. I have never had access to the emotion of anger and when I " checked out it always amounted to Pete walkers. " fawn " submissive agreeable foggy. Now suddenly if I where to try an express an emotion a voice starts yelling in my head " shut up your weak I'm done I won't let them do this to you " and I feel suddenly no emotion but a surge of anger and power. My normal thoughts are replaced with very nasty ones and literally I get a mean face. I act in ways I'd never have dreamed! Nothing harmful physically but certainly flippant and insensitive to my family.

I remember it when it done but everyday is foggy so I don't remember much well. I have tried grounding recently and much to my surprise it's been that when successful my vision gets very clear and I feel so happy! Doesn't take long for panic to set in though, in wich case right as I start to cry I will flip into that anger state or an OCD must research mode, or just this " normal state " of foggy vision little memory, not much to say.

Sometimes though when grounded I can hear , see, think so much clearly. Also in the anger state oddly I think I can wax my eyebrows and do certain things better?

I do hear voices in one state and they do converse with each other or about me but it's rare that I'm in that state for long. I'm afraid this is a sign of DID. Thing is I always know I'm me , it's just that certain voices have different needs and they do tend to give different options on things. But I never feel as if one of them take control, except for one which I'm sure is repressed anger. This knew one. It only came after my dream and hard work at greif due to John Bradshaw. Does anyone know what in heck I'm meaning?

Ps. My normal state is I'm very sure derealized, and I'm sure I have OCD. So all of this could be simply be due to panic attacks and dissociating that way. Just looking for any insight!
Considering starting anti depressants. I feel like I can't even talk about it anymore because I have been sure I've had every mental illness in the book for a time then found a knew to " claim " lol it's not that I want to be " sick " I think it's just that my symptoms are so come and go or different depending on what state I'm in. I'm open to being a hypochondriac haha but I just know that's not what's happening. I'm embarrsed  to talk about it but I still find myself needing to! I'll say " don't talk about this new symptom until your sure " but then always wind up asking for reassurance

[Sasha2727]

Thank you for that. I feel sad confused and scared all of the time. I know I need help and I'm calling my insurance company today. I was seeing someone so awesome but she's really expensive and I think I need once a week help for now lol I'm starting to understand that I've just got lots of stuff happening and my main priority needs to be getting back to a level of grounding enough just to pay bills and work while at work. My head is foggy and racing all the time lately. I'm nervous to be alone at home but relieved when I am because then no one can see me like this. My gf says I look totally gone most of the time and that's how I feel too... Worried I've been my whole life same with over anylitical but this feels like a whole other level.

I appreciate your response, ppl try to help and say " calm down it's all ok " or " you don't have to feel ashaimed " stuff like that but that doesn't help because if I could " just stop thinking so much " I would have! I know my thinking is not fixing it but I don't feel like it's a choice. I read I'm supposed to be feeling my feelings yet some people in my life basically tell me I'm only allowed to feel good feelings and that the " bad " ones are somehow my fault that it's my issue for " allowing " them. It's just a bad time. Hoping I can get some affordable yet trauma informed help. I'm honestly considering anxiety medication for now because I can't keep going like this.