Feeling rejected

[Gromit]

A couple of things here.

A couple of days ago I saw a neighbour who seemed a bit 'off' when I smiled. I don't know her that well but we had shared some stuff on Facebook, & I felt 'seen' by her in a way I don't normally feel. She was aware of my 'pain' and she is a Christian.

It made me realise I had not seen anything from her on Facebook for a while so I took a look. She had shared all about her partner's cancer etc so was fairly open. Now I cannot find her or her partner on Facebook which, usually means I have been blocked, not even the private messages we had exchanged.

So I felt rejected, depressed and I turned to this guy:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ra1_nZHGpkk

As I had seen another example of his tapping on this site.

So, whilst yes I feel rejected, hurt still, confused about why I have been blocked, if that is what has happened, I also wanted to ask about tapping. Is it enough to watch and tap along or is it best to say the same words to yourself? Can you talk to yourself and tap? I don't get on with trying to give myself positive affirmations, it triggers my inner critic, who says, 'yes, but....'

I am thinking I should remove all neighbours from my Facebook, & become more private, as friend of mine has done.

[Blueberry]

I'm sorry you're feeling rejected,    for me that can be pretty triggering to past stuff.

I'm not on Facebook at all so can't speak to that.

But I saw your question on tapping. My therapist taught me tapping. For me, it's very important to use my own words. In early days, I couldn't say "Even though I am xy / did xy, I love myself" so my T suggested I change that to ".... I accept myself". That worked. I know that generally a negative doesn't work so "... I don't hate myself" the brain would understand as "I hate myself".

I talk myself throughout tapping. I used to do it out loud, now in my head works as well. I did it in the train once a few months ago.

After my T taught me how to do it, it took me a long time to start to do it on my own outside therapy. My T told me not to pressure about it, I'd take it up as a tool when I could. Which turned out true. So it could be it's too early for you and your ICr. too. Or come to think of it, you could try something like "I'm trying out EFT even though my ICr. objects"

[Gromit]

Thanks Blueberry

Yes, any rejection makes me question 'what is wrong with me?' After all, nothing could ever be wrong with my parents, it must be me. It is my default setting to expect the fault to be mine. It's not as if many people have actually admitted to me that they were wrong at all, &, if I am happy to take the negativity on myself they are usually happy to let me.

I will carry on watching this tapping person, & tap along. I have a very cynical side to me but I know, from using yoga mudras that some physical things work on a very deep level that you have no conscious control over.

[Blueberry]

I know, from using yoga mudras that some physical things work on a very deep level that you have no conscious control over.

   Not that I'm doing any yoga of any type atm. I yawn a lot when I tap which is a big sign in my case that something is taking place deep inside somewhere.

[Gromit]

Being blocked on Facebook means you cannot see anything about this person and they cannot see anything about you, it is as if they do not exist on there.

Interesting about yawning, it was a side effect of sertraline for me, and therapists thought I was tired!
Interesting that psychodynamic therapists, in that case, could be so literal about yawning, but not about other things.

[Andyman73]

Gromit,
After being away from FB for 8-9 years due to wife forcing me off, I rejoined. But only for a specific survivor's group. I have all my options set on most limited choices...I don't need soon to be exwife spying on me through that. I have not accepted any friendrequests that aren't from that specific group...which is based in Ireland...and I'm U.S.