Where do you start

[DKR]

Hello, at the age of 53, my life is beginning to unravel and I can no longer control the overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, stress as well as I have done from the age of 11.  Being diagnosed with Complex PTSD has had the effect of taking the top off of a cesspit full of beyond bad stuff.  Really don't know if this can be fixed as it feels like it is beyond any form of repair.  I have never felt so alone and cut off having only had toxic relationships that had a necrotic fit with me. 

[AncientSoul]

Hi DKR:

Welcome. A while back I myself felt very much the same as how you feel. One of the things I did was come here. The people here have been through a lot, and they too understand and listen. I personally believe you are so fortunate to have found this site.

I don't really know what to say, but through this site I discovered so much, and if you read what others have been through, you may be surprised. I know that when I got here I didn't know what to expect. But now, I suppose I know a lot more and these people really do care.

I'm very glad to meet you. When you feel comfortable, and since no one here knows who you are, you can talk about what bothers you. I know doing that sure helped me. Like I said, these people here have been through a lot, so many of them understand the feelings. They deal with them too, as do I.

AncientSoul

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, DKR! Glad to have you here, thanks for joining!

[Kizzie]

Hi and a very warm welcome to OOTS DKR     

I know, it's so hard when you first fully realize what you've gone through, that you have CPTSD as a result and you wonder if you can/will heal. Here's a link to Dr. Kathy Young's web page that may help - https://drkathleenyoung.wordpress.com/2011/07/06/can-complex-ptsd-be-cured/.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  In addition to a therapist, coming here can help you to reach it so keep on posting!

[Boatsetsailrose]

Dkr I can relate and hear you..
I too at the age of 43 have come to a crash and last wk was just awful , despairing and felt so hopeless with all areas of my life ..
Quote 'it feels like it is beyond any kind of repair'
My experience is with the seeing of the problems along with not yet developed/ repaired bits it does feel like that..
But it is not true I've heard people's recovery journey through this forum and got to see my own healings , but I understand it feels like that I really do..
I just got diagnosed last wk and have accessed a charity that do long term trauma work..
do u have support / therapy ?
We have been dealt rough cards but we will not give up and repair little by little to make ourselves more whole and functional, as we support each other
I am sending you my strength and support