Obsessive thoughts

[Blackbird]

Hey guys. I have a coping mechanism that is kind of annoying, I've tried searching about it but found nothing.

I have obsessive thoughts, that can range from thinking too much about my mental health, to catastrophic thinking all the time, to intrusive obsessional thoughts (actually diagnosed with OCD, currently in remission) and excessive daydreaming.

I think these are all ways for me not to think about the abuses, and like my T says, they are welcome if the intent is for me not to keep retraumatizing myself or send me to an EF. But, to be honest, it's so annoying! My mind can't seem to focus and rapidly shifts to the current obsession when I try to distract myself. I can't find research about it, read in Pete Walker's website that it's connected to CPTSD and just want to know if any of you have it too and how in the world can I cope with them.

Other than this, I'm doing well.

Thanks in advance for any input on the subject.

[Hope66]

Hi Blackbird,
I definitely can relate to what you're saying.  I have periods of time when I'm 'ruminating' and going over the same things - and the frequency of that was a LOT in the first few years of going NC with my FOO.  But thankfully I've found as time has gone on, that I do it less.

But something that helps me sometimes, is having a 'worry period' - in that I allot half an hour in the day to 'focus' on any concerns or worries that I have, and then I try to problem solve them and find solutions, or just use the time to think about them, and that way, at other times in the day, I can say to myself 'OK, I'm worried about that thing, I'll add it to my list to consider in my 'worry period'"  I found that in a book I read - but I can't remember which book it was... 

I don't know if you've ever tried something like that, but personally I have found it can help.

Good luck, because obsessive thoughts and ruminations can be hard to cope with sometimes.

Hope 

[Blackbird]

Hi Hope 

Thank you for your input. I actually do that too, I try journaling as well, meditation, minfulness... Seems to be stuck in a pattern.
It's been this way since forever, I don't remember a time when I didn't have this coping mechanism. Maybe I'm trying to "cure" a thing that is intrinsicly mine 

[Three Roses]

I do this a lot. It's hard to concentrate on what's going on around me when I'm lost in an imaginary fog. When I realize what I'm doing, I tell myself where I am, that I'm grown now, and safe. For me, that fog is usually a sign I'm in an EF or on the brink of one. His to you!

[Blackbird]

Hmm... Maybe I'm not out of the woodwork as of yet then. I've been dissociating and obsessive thinking a lot lately.

Thanks Three Roses. 

[Blueberry]

Sometimes it helps me to imagine a wheel spinning round and round. Then I shove a stick in between the spokes to stop the wheel. The ruminations stop then too.

[Blackbird]

Interesting, Blueberry! Visualization, didn't think of that. Thank you 

[Boatsetsailrose]

Yes blackbird I relate !
It's been bad recently .. my obsessive thoughts are all to do with not being good enough one way or another the most dominate is 'I'm not intelligent'
It changes what helps .. acceptance of the thoughts is helping today
Giving my mind to a higher power also helps and challenging the thinking
It's all anxiety 'fear' based thinking and reassuring myself / the girl within helps

It gets draining and I get fed up with it
Sometimes I can a burst of 'I'm going to rise above it and get on with my life - distraction really helps - I give far too much attention to my head !

Meditation , breathe work and exercise / body work, grounding and stretching help - the app headspace is good

One day I'll have more freedom around this stuff it's showing me that my self worth and self esteem need working on - therapy here I come

Best wishes  to you ...
I think finding the themes behind the thinking is good ... what feelings/ beliefs the thoughts stem from ..
What are the thoughts showing me that needs to be worked on ..
the thoughts are really my friend trying to help ( doesn't feel like it though

[Blackbird]

I found this article that has been helpful, Boatsetsailrose.

https://pro.psychcentral.com/recovery-expert/2016/02/coping-with-obsessive-thoughts/

I downloaded the headspace app to see if it helps Thank you!

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you blackbird that is really helpful - I'm going to write some of it and keep it on my phone - psych central is good . The article is very 12 step which I like talking about acceptance and serenity

I hope you find the headspace app is your thing.. I really love it so simple yet effective . Andy Williams voice soothing
I did pay for the full service but just went back to the free level as I get enough from that

Blessings

[Dee]

I obsess over everything. I even carry a small stopping on a notecard to remind me not to.  I try to stop it early, embrace uncertainty, and use visualization (my stop sign and safe place).  I remind myself I am wasting resources. 

[Blackbird]

I remind myself I am wasting resources.

That's great! I can work with that. Thanks, Dee

[Boatsetsailrose]

My dance therapist said if I've thinking too much I'm not moving fast enough ... I like that
Today I had a day of action - getting things done in the house and I worked on not thinking .. it helped

[sigiriuk]

Hi Blackbird
I get this too. I think the ruminating could be called OCD, but like to think of it as part of the Inner Critic as described thus:

Micromanagement/Worrying/Obsessing/Looping/Over-Futurizing.
I will not repetitively examine details over and over. I will not jump to negative conclusions.
from
Walker, Pete. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (p. 170). Azure Coyote Publishing. Kindle Edition.

[Blackbird]

Boatsetsailrose, that's great. It's what I try to do, my house has been spotless Ahah!

Thanks Slim, unfortunately it's not exactly the same. I read the same thing but it just doesn't work that way. My obsessions are what my T calls them of "morphines", escapes not to deal with reality or intrusive thoughts from actual OCD that don't go away just because I want them too.

I have a process for intrusive thoughts: 1- "It's just another thought." 2- "I'm a good person" 3- "Everyone has them, no one admits it"  It works for me. They aren't as strong anymore.