Idea on where to begin

[Sue Prise]

I have read a couple of posts on here and many people seem to find value in writing out their story, I am not sure how I feel about writing mine.  In some respect I think it could be helpful to put it on paper and out of my head.  IN other's I fear the emotions of writing it.

Does it help?  If you have done it, how did you feel after it was done?   are there any other suggestions on where to begin to accept your past?
Thanks

[Elphanigh]

First welcome, I am glad you found this page. Everyone is super helpful, and I am sure you will get a lot of responses on this.

For me personally, writing is therapeutic. I have not been able to write all or even truly half of mine yet. However, the  pieces I  have written it has helped me work on them. I have to do it in small chunks because you are right about there being an emotional cost to it. It also helps if you are already emotional to write it all down, often enough this is when my story gets written. When I am remembering things, or feeling lost, or angry etc.. It helps to write to see it more logically and to have it some place other than my head. I can come back to it when I am ore ready if it is written down.

So overall yes it is helpful for me. If it isn't for you that it completely okay, everyone heals differently. Maybe you are at a stage where it isn't beneficial yet, but I would try it if you think it could be helpful. Maybe not start with your story. Maybe start simply by journaling about your day, and it will evolve into what you need it to be

[woodsgnome]

Sometimes I'd write things down; emotions would flare, then I'd burn the paper. Symbolically I was altering the memory, if not eliminating it. Can't say it was any panacea but I think it reinforced the idea that I was no longer in the abusive situations, that it was really in my control now. That's something that needs relearning every so often, I've found. Some healing, no cure. Other times I've devised little rituals (candle-burning, reading, music, etc) and allowed my therapist to be my witness (helps validate the experience).

Symbols make more sense to me than lots of things. After all, we're talking (usually) events that have passed but still stuck. Unfortunately triggers and ef's can hit anytime. Banishing the memories entirely is like trying not to think about a white elephant for the next 5 minutes.

Something that surprised me by its effectiveness was physically venting--not at the abusers (gives them power) but unleashing the general anger in a controlled situation (I was in a group 'intensive' process). This may sound scary or even weird, but it was done in a safe environment with a facilitator who knew what she was doing.

For me this process released lots of tension which had been stored in the body. Its cathartic nature probably doesn't suit everybody's temperament, but in my case it felt wonderful, as I've ignored so much of the bodily memory 'tombs' for so long. Still think it's better undertaken in a safe environment with a savvy instructor.

So those are some things I've tried. 

[Wife#2]

Sue, some of us journal on here, others journal in private. I happen to do both. One of my bigger issues for me was remembering the past. I can't work on what I can't remember.

It has been very triggering and I've had some depression related to recovering memory, but I still see it as worthwhile in the long run.

I also found writing 'Letters never sent' to those who abused me helps. I don't go back and re-read them if they're posted here.

During my time on this site, I've learned a lot about how suppressing emotion doesn't make it go away and how the body holds all of the emotions we don't express. So, writing these things down, finding my voice so-to-speak, has really helped me begin the body healing I need. There are many good books, YouTube channels and online resources discussed to help you figure out what way may work best for you.

Only you can decide what works best for you. Some of us have therapists while others (like me) don't right now. It is better to have a therapist and control the flow, because trying to do too much too soon can cause you harm.

[alchemist]

I have found that writing my story for myself has been an invaluable experience.  I don't feel the need to post it on a forum, I may publish my work one day but not on a forum.  I think pieces are sufficient here and there that I wish to share if something has come up and it helps me to share it.