Scared

[Pammie]

hi I am new here I am 56 and I just got diagnosed. I don't make friends very well because I isolate myself. I can be a social butterfly in a group situation no problem but but to develop a close friendship or wonder One friendship is terribly frightening for me I don't know how to do it. I met somebody at church and she is being my friend by texting me and I'm not sure what she wants. I do not want to get into a loving relationship at this point my life not until I'm more healthy and I can learn how not to get into a abusive situation or maybe just never. I can't read people I see everybody is trying to do something wrong to me how can I tell that I am safe with somebody?

[Candid]

I met somebody at church and she is being my friend by texting me and I'm not sure what she wants.

Why should she want anything, other than to be your friend?

I see everybody is trying to do something wrong to me how can I tell that I am safe with somebody?

You can trust your gut feelings, go along with offers of friendship until the point where you get that flash of fear or sinking feeling in your tummy. There are always warning signs; the problem for people with CPTSD is that we've learned to override them and keep going into danger, because for many of us there was no alternative as young children.

It's also your right as an adult to say no to anything you don't feel up to. I do it pretty much all the time, and I've noticed I have to put on an act in those situations when I'm concerned about What People Will Think. My next project is to stop caring what people think.

None of this stuff is easy, Pammie, but we're here to inspire and encourage each other. Welcome aboard!

[Three Roses]

Yes, welcome aboard! 

[Blueberry]

Yes, welcome here, Pammie.  Read around, old posts, new posts, whatever. I'm sure you'll find support and useful information. I certainly have in the few weeks I've been here.