A memory thats not mine

[Sceal]

My T wanted me to buy a spesific book about trauma and growth during healing. I was just reading about after affects when I remembered something.
My mother has told me with random intervals when she talks about how I was as a child that I would suddenly stand in the middle of the livingroom crying my eyes out and that I was pretty much inconsolable. When they asked me what was wrong the only answer I would ever give them was "It just came" (it being the tears). They even considered calling child services to help me. I never really thought much about it other than mild uncomfortableness when she talks about it. I personally have no recollection of this at all. I dont even know how old I was when these "crying attacks" started or for how long. 
Maybe it was nothing at all, maybe l was just overwhelmed. Maybe I was just a little more than sensitive. 
Or Maybe there is something there that I have no memory of. I have to admit, that scares me. I hope its not true.

[Blueberry]

 
Our memories come when we're (sort of) ready for them. So whatever is behind this might come some day. It could be something huge behind this, it might not be.
In therapy a good few years ago, something came up which was immediately buried in the ground by one of my Animal Helpers, and I wondered what on earth could come up that was that bad, what on earth was my Animal Helper shielding me from?? Turned out my Animal Helper was shielding me from my own negative view of myself as an adult. When the time was ripe, this became clear. So this to say that there could be some form of abuse/neglect behind your crying attacks as a child, but it might not be full-scale. Or it might be something else.

gentle and safe for your little one who endured those crying attacks. If she/he was sensitive, she/he was. There's no "too sensitive".

[Sceal]

Thank you, Blueberry! 

An Animal Helper sounds very nice. I am glad you have someone/thing(?) to help you shield you from the things that you are not quite ready to face. Maybe I am not ready to face this particular memory - or not memory as it is. But maybe it's giving me a hint that I am slowly opening up to becoming ready to talk about other things? I hope so, I want to be ready. I want to be ready to work on the things so I can move further ahead.


P.S I'm a she

[Blueberry]

But maybe it's giving me a hint that I am slowly opening up to becoming ready to talk about other things? I hope so, I want to be ready. I want to be ready to work on the things so I can move further ahead.

Yes, you're right, you probably are slowly opening up! Reading about growth and healing can do this to us. 

[Sceal]

It's just good that there is a place like this where I can share the unexpected (and sometimes expected) experiences along the way.
Thank you all for being here.