Lying TW

[Blueberry]

  the shame, blame, embarrassment always belongs to the abuser. (my first therapist took advantage of me similarly to what you're talking about, dee, only i was in my 30's.  you'd think i should know better, but not so.  i was as vulnerable as a child, felt special to be singled out by her, went on weekend getaways with her, joined bowling leagues with her, etc. etc., all the while doing things that went against my own sense of right and wrong, like spying on other therapists for her, looking the other way when she did a misdeed - i was not only her client, but best friend and employee all at the same time!   when i 'broke up' with her as a client, she told me that she had been a good mom to me.  when i thought of it later, she wasn't supposed to be a mom of any sort to me.  she was supposed to be my therapist, period.)

this is complex for a reason.  we are tangled up in a spider web of deceit, lies, manipulations, betrayals, being used and abused by many someone elses for their own sense of whatever.   ...

San, similar stuff between me and my T 10-15 years ago, also. I was in my 30's too. It took me a long time to become de-enmeshed. The therapist threw me out of therapy, basically. She said I had a problem with her and had to work it out on my own before going back  I did work it out eventually, but I never went back. 

I like your image of being tangled in a spider's web of lies, manipulations etc. I would add denials to the list.

[sanmagic7]

denials, absolutely.  i'm very sorry that happened with you and your t.  terribly horrible.  i ended up on anti-depressants and anxiety meds because of my experience.  it took me 8 yrs. before i could get myself together enough to report her.  altho this happened before the state ethics statutes were in place, they did investigate and wrote me that, had this happened 2 yrs. later, she would've been sanctioned.

this is why i get so fired up about t's abusing their clients in any way.  i know the damage it can cause.  my heart goes out to you, blueberry.  it should never have happened.  talk about feeling like a fool!  and i even had other t's try to put some of the blame on me, but i had checked into that.  my ethics professor in grad school made it very clear that the client never NEVER has any fault, no matter if willingly or not.  i stand by that.  those t's should lose their certification/licenses to practice.

[Blueberry]

I had other Ts blaming me too, they said I was 'obviously Borderline' (the black and white thing). But while looking for help out of the situation I did also find some very knowledgeable professionals, who were the first to say: you need Trauma Therapy.

Sorry for the hijack, Dee.