So fed up with my head

[Boatsetsailrose]

I'm so fed up with my head and how it dominates me, sometimes I'm just locked in it and then realise afterwards it's demise ...
The themes are :
I'm not intelligent enough
People don't think I'm interesting
I can't express myself properly
She likes her better than me
She's more intelligent than me
I wouldn't have thought of that

It drives me mad !!
Makes me feel bad and low

The only thing that helps is I say to myself 'I love you ' it really helps me self soothe

Any other things that help you I'd really appreciate

[songbirdrosa]

Non chi sei
It's Italian, and it translates to 'not who you are'. A friend told me once that "mental illness is something you have, not who you are". These thoughts aren't you. They're a product of what's happened to you. It's your inner critic, and it's lying to you. It lies to us all.

That's what helps me, at least. I hope it can help you too. 

[sigiriuk]

Hi Boatsetsailrose

It really sucks, doesn't it?

Normal people just don't think like us.

They have their self doubts like everyone.

But for us, the volume control is on Number 10, and the thoughts themselves are more gruesome and cruel.

I find it terrifying, when I think that our little brains as kids, were damaged so much, and made us think like this.

But we are all friends here, and I am holding your hand, and i don't feel alone. This illness is not a punishment.

Slim

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you .. I feel like crying but the anti dep make that difficult
Thank you songbirdrosa - it feels so real
I believe them that's the problem
Hope therapy can help with this area
Thanks slim yes the volume is up hey

[12Nice]

 
I don't know how to copy a part of a comment yet but I would like to thank Slim for the line on how could they do that to those little growing brains and it being symptoms not who we are.

Its all most impossible at this point for me to separate how I have been taught to treat myself by those who were supposed to be nurturing and supportive, because I know they were capable of being supportive and loving seeing my brother receiving such favorable attention.  So its tough to think anything different than I am just human trash meant to serve with a smile saying nothing about the atrocious horrors I was or am suffering with.

I don't know how to turn off the churning pain in my brain I hate it I wish I could erase my memory and start again...   

12Nice