Suffering after Breakup

[LostinthisWorld]

Sanmagic and Kizzie, thanks for taking time to reply and your guidance through this difficult time. I feel really sick today, I have a huge migraine and it feels like my brain will explode. My body is ahaking and I have really bad chills and I am freezing and sweating at the same time. I thing the past weeks have taken a toll on my body and it seems it sends me signals to rest and calm down, Easier said than done.

The intensity of the emotional flashbacks has decreased the last days. I see it as a good sign, still there is fear left and I feel not secure about it. My apartment is clean and I have all work done till Monday morning. I decided to wrap myself up on the couch and simply watch some netflix.

Kizzie, I thought a lot about my inner childs but I am too afraid to work on this  right now, I could not cope with any more of  this feelings and pain, I am too exhausted. Sorry that I could not watch the video but I was afraid that it would trigger feelings I am simply not able to cope with right know. But I keep it up for a time where I have the courage to at least try. I am thankful for every way that is shown to me and I will get back to it when I gathered myself back together.- maybe with the guidance of my therapist.

Sanmagic, I feel safe in my home, the problem is that I cannot avoid contact to people. I am so afraid of getting hurt again right now that the only safety that I could really trust was not going into contace with anyone right now. I am afraid of my friends being annoyed by my present situation even though they offer support. I can`t trust anyone because I know I'm in a place where another hurt might literally kill me. Can anyone relate? I feel so sensitive and fragile.

I know that it is another survival-instinct. Being overprotective. I know that nothing will kill me, but the feeling is totally different and it feels not good to distrust everyone and everybody.

I am glad you believe in EMDR- at least to be a chance to release some of my issues. I do bodyrelated work once a week and regular exercising helped me manage my stresslevel. I hope I`ll get back to that when I feel better and have the energy to take a run.

At this time I am so happy to have help here, know that kind people are out there who offer help and support and it is in a distance that at this point feels comfortable to me.

I hope I will be better in the next weeks, I have already some information and experience to share here so it might help others. I'd love to give some of the support back I received here.

You help me a lot. Thank you. Sending Hugs in return.

[Kizzie]