Shut-in, Agoraphobic, Housebound, Bed-Bound

[LittleBoat]

Hi all,
Not sure if this is the right thread for this topic, but I'm wondering if there are others out there, who are basically housebound?  My life has shrunken drastically in the last seven years.  I had to leave my job and go on disability.  Been in and out of mental hospitals, and I'm finding that those visits and treatments have re-defined me.  My fears can keep me, not just housebound, but bed-bound.  I'm also scared to drive very far, and that has drastically reduced my "scope."  I used to be so different.  My days were so full; I was "in charge" and "contributing."  My life was fulfilling and adventurous, and people were drawn to me.  But these last seven years seem to have changed my self-identity.  My only ticket out is writing my poetry and trying to stay in touch with other poets and artists, mostly through social media, small coffee shop "visits" and a couple of daytime workshops.  I am just starting to feel a bit better, and would like to venture out more and build new friendships and alliances.  But I'm unsure of myself.  Unsure how to re-enter the world.  Unsure if I seem "off" to others.  If I frighten people.  Or repulse them (Hello, Inner Critic).    Can anyone relate to this?  Thank you, LittleBoat

[Hope67]

Hi LIttleBoat,
I just wanted to say that I can relate to things you've written here, and I also want to say that even though I think I've only had a couple of interactions with you in this forum so far, what I've 'felt' as a result of interacting with you, is that you seem like a lovely and a warm person - I definitely don't agree with your Inner Critic's appraisal or suggestions that you might be 'off'  or that you might 'frighten' people.  I also love your name on here - it is a 'welcoming' and 'sweet' name.  I hope you don't mind my saying that.    to you - and I'm glad you're here, although I also feel very much sad that any of us have had to go through things we've experienced, but they do still make us the people we are today. 

There are days when I feel as if I don't want to face the outside world, and I could easily retreat to the bedroom and lock myself away - sometimes I do - especially if my partner isn't around, my behaviour tends to revert to less healthy ways when he's not around.

I also have had to leave my job - there are a whole raft of complicating factors around that, which I haven't felt able to share here in the forum, but the contrast in my life between then and now, it's vast really - I would have been considered to be someone who was 'outgoing' and people would be drawn to me - but now that I'm no longer working, my confidence has taken a nose-dive really.

I am so glad you have your Poetry and your contact with the Poets and Artists - that is great.  I am trying to begin to explore some creativity - as I remember talking to you about that before, in another thread, and you were very encouraging to me. 

Anyway, I'm not sure if what I've said here is helpful or not, but I just wanted to say I do relate to what you're saying, and I also hope very much that you'll be able to re-enter the World at a pace that feels comfortable to you - and I want to wish you the best with that.

Hope 

[Kizzie]

Have you ever considered getting an emotional support dog LittleBoat?  I have been thinking a lot about getting one after watching quite a few TV shows about them and seeing how people with PTSD and other mental health issues respond.  There is a member here at OOTS who has service dogs (2) and if you're interested I could PM her and see if she would be willing to PM with you about her experiences.