UGH, HATE EFs!!

[Healing Finally]

HI all, 

Now I know, when I'm acting super anxious, defensive, confused, frustrated, and feel the need to point out all the wrongs in the world; I am having an Emotional Flashback.  I am so grateful to know that this is a phase and it will pass.  I have literally lived in EFs for months if not years, and it's only been recent that I've been able to recognize when I'm NOT living in an EF.

I can get triggered at work a LOT, and THEN I can get into trouble.  Which I just did.  I work in IT and when I see a process that isn't working, I want to address it.  I have a way of putting people on the spot when I don't mean to.  I'm just trying to fix something that's not right.  But, my tone can be too direct and I offend people.  They don't know what to do with me!  My supervisor thinks what I'm doing is just fine as he's happy to have a worker that cares enough to address the issues (vs ignoring them) so my job isn't on the line, but my co-workers are distant with me.

I KNOW it's the way I handle myself as I'm already feeling defensive and frustrated and this comes out in my communication.  If I wasn't in an EF, I wouldn't be so demanding or authoritative; as this is not my general nature.  So then when I get a backlash of annoyance from my coworkers I feel guilty and get down on myself.  So now I'm stuck between feeling justified for pointing something out and bad for doing it.

I imagine the best thing to do is just regroup when I'm feeling this way, lay low, keep quiet and do something mundane.  I'm still trying to figure out HOW TO MAKE IT STOP...sigh, thanks for listening...

P.S. Also sharing that I know I'm in an EF because as soon as I leave work I want to go home and go to bed...

[Blueberry]

Healing Finally, I feel and react a bit this way too in EFs, or in some of them at least. That got me in trouble at work too, years ago when I worked in an office and had colleagues.

Hope that when you get home you can do something nice for yourself, whatever that might be.

[Three Roses]

I'm retired now, but this is really me! I've lost friendships over it. I used to think I just had a bad temper, but that is not even close to true. It's those pesky EF's! 

[Lingurine]

EF's are really annoying, sometimes I don't know that I'm actually in one, untill I'm already out again.
But, I'm aware of what I'm doing, so am still responsible for my actions and can't blame my EF for saying or doing something stupid.

Lingurine

[Healing Finally]

Thank you all for your replies  - appreciate the confirmation and also the reminder that I STILL have control, even when I know I'm overreacting!!  UGH!  I just get down on myself afterwards, then feel lost.  I've been dealing with the remnants for days and can easily get set off again, so I protect myself.  It seems when I spend a good portion of time in bed and allow myself to just rest and relax I can get into a better place...but I can waste a lot of valuable time doing that.  OH WELL, one step at a time.