frustrated

[Deb]

Hi,

I'm feeling so frustrated and angry (in a childs temper tantrum kinda way) at the lack of effective help and support I'm getting. I needed my old longterm therapist SO much, to provide that guidance and mothering that I never had. and she cut my heart out and stomped all over it. It physcially hurts everyday! I don't know how to survive this and trying to find a new psychologist just makes me miss her more and my trust has been betrayed so feeling I could trust someone again feels impossible! I don't understand but I feel so angry at the world and everyone in it (not you guys) just at everything and all the injusticies towards me!! at the same time I feel so terrified, alone and hurting. Its overwhelming and confusing. But mostly its so isolating. I feel SO ALONE and unloved.  

[Lingurine]

Here, you are not alone 

Lingurine

[sanmagic7]

that betrayal has been so devastating for you, i'm not surprised you're having these feelings.  i think they are a direct result of what happened, and it will take time to get thru them.   i can relate, as i've gone thru too many letdowns and betrayals by prof. caregivers, including my first t.  lots of all the same emotions/feelings you mentioned. 

keep letting them out.  we are here with you, deb.  big hug - my earth mother spirit is gathering you in to let you know that you are still loved and cared about.

[Deb]

thanks xxxx

[Fen Starshimmer]

Deb, I am very sorry you experienced this, a wounding betrayal of sorts. It's natural to feel angry. Hope you are feeling better now that a few weeks have passed since the incident.

I totally relate, as it's all too common among professionals.  Only a small minority that I have come across have proven 'safe' to confide in. Most have turned out to be harshly judgemental, if not at first, eventually.

I have been grieving for humanity lately, the normalised inhumanity of our culture. (Not the people here, the ones out there, re-traumatising victims and survivors.)