Intense grief as an EF?

[Gwyon]

I'm curious if others experience this as part of their c-ptsd symptoms.  I often experience episodes of intense sadness/depression that I can only describe as "grief".  It includes intense emotional pain in my chest and throat, with moaning and dry sobbing -- to the point of being nearly unbearable.  In fact it is these episodes, if they last days and reach unbearable intensity, that lead me to substance abuse and suicidal ideation.

I've just recently learned about emotional flashbacks -- and the concept makes perfect sense to me and accounts for many of my intense emotional responses that seem untethered from the actual physical reality.  I'm thinking these episodes of grief are another example of an EF.  And I'm curious if others share this experience and see it the same way? 

If I do find others who share this symptom then I'd like to share coping strategies.  I am just at the begining of learning how to sit and work with it rather than trying desperately to make it stop.

[Dee]

What I try to do is stay in the present.  I use my 5 senses to calm me and it really does help.  5 senses can get me through everything from a flashback to anger.  I get into slumps, not quite like you described, same but different.  It can take me days.  I am working in therapy to learn to sit with it, like you say.  I do resort to negative coping tools and I am doing well at replacing them with healthier tools.

[sanmagic7]

i feel like i've been grieving for years now.  i cry at the drop of a hat, whether it's something sad, happy, or most anything emotional.  i don't know if it's grief for sure, and i'm in therapy at the moment trying to figure this out.  i do believe that it's a c-ptsd symptom, tho, and not just some random weeping/sadness/pain.

i just wanted to let you know that i hear ya, andrew.  this beast takes on so many shapes and sizes, sometimes it's hard to figure out where one ends and another begins.   sending a hug with warmth and peace of mind.

[ah]

Well, this may seem funny but even though I don't feel grief as part of c-ptsd, I think I know exactly what you mean.

What I feel may seem like the opposite but I don't think it is. For example if I'm talking to someone and I'm triggered, I'm emotionally overwhelmed very quickly, instantly, and then quite often I'm gone. There's a short burst of emotional peak and then I break contact with myself and with others. I look away, stop talking. It takes super-human power to act in these moments. I usually use the remainder of my strength to smile one or twice and reassure the other person and then I let myself be silent. If I'm pushed further I forget what happened next.

But whether our emotions pour out uncontrollably or are locked inside us uncontrollably, I feel we all have so many ways to manage having a very strong emotion, so strong that we have to express it or we feel we might drown in it.

That I think is for sure part of c-ptsd.

[Gwyon]

Ah, thank you for sharing that. A big yes of recognition.