Dissociation

[Traveller 1]

Is what I felt so many years ago and still feel from time to time dissociation?
I can only describe as, feeling like a passenger in my own body, somehow functioning on auto pilot.
Time goes missing and the world looks hazy, fog like, dulled senses.
Having started therapy only recently I am beginning to understand that CPTSD has been a huge part of my life for so long  (50+ years)
These feelings and fears now have names to fit their descriptions, though not always identical. This helps me understand who I am a bit more.
Thanks for listening.

[Dee]

If you haven't you can ask your therapist for grounding exercises.  I carry a card of what to do.  I remember 5,4,3,2,1.

5 - see 5 things
4 - touch
3 - hear
2 - smell
1 - taste

There are other things as well.  Deep breathing, essential oils.  You can get yourself out of a dissociative state, but like anything else it takes practice. 

[Fen Starshimmer]

Hi UK Guy,

Yes, that sounds like dissociation. Pete Walker talks about dissociation in his description of the freeze response to trauma.

http://pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm

Last night, I was reading Pete Walker's website on dissociation, and realised that I have spent most of my life (if not all) dissociated to some degree and that's why I suffered repeated sexual abuse, defenceless as a freeze type, and so I became even more dissociated, and the cycle went on and on. No therapist ever spotted that. Been grieving a lot over this, and I am early 50s now.  I've looked at 'depersonalisation' which is when you feel like an outside observer of your body, or parts of your body, thoughts, feelings, and feel like a robot - sounds a bit like what you described. Maybe worth looking into too.

There's more indepth info here on dissociation, explained better than I could.
https://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/dissociation

I find smell one of the most grounding things, especially incense and essential oils in earthy scents. Walks in woods and some types of (grounding) meditation help me to feel more inside my body.

[LittleBird]

Hi UK Guy,

It sounds like dissociation.

Visualising might also help.

I've recently been understanding my symptoms better and using visualisation to manage some of my dissociative experiences. Where dissociation is a coping mechanism automatically utilised to process stress and trauma, visualising is a similar coping mechanism with active control.

I'm not sure what works for other people, it's a personal process. I've been very tired lately and actually visualising self care, as well as practicing it has helped.

[BlancaLap]

To des-dissociate myself I usually try to focus on one thing in the room and I say to myself: this is REAL, this is happening NOW, it is real, I'm myself, here and now, and it means my memories are real too...
I don't know how to explain it better. Hope it helps you!