My Story

[Nettiemarie]

Hi... oldest child of an uBPD mom and a dad with Major Depression.  I've been the scapegoat in my family for as long as I can remember. I've just recently gone extremly low/no contact (this summer.) I found the Pete Walker site and this site through the Out of The Fog forum.

[Kizzie]

Hi and welcome to OOTS Nettiemarie, glad you found your way here.  I was the Scapegoat (and Lost Child) in my family too and while it was no picnic (wouldn't be here if it had of been), I'd rather be that to the Golden Child.  My GCB has uNPD I think because he was always told he was special, could do no wrong and was entitled which to my mind can lead to the development of his  personality disorder.  I see that there's a path out of this CPTSD whereas so many PDs, especially NPD are treatment resistant. How did your siblings fare?

Has belonging to OOTF helped with your parents PD behav?  It helped me so much, and actually I don't think I could have turned my attention to my CPTSD if I hadn't first come out of the FOG.

Looking forward to chatting 

[Nettiemarie]

I think OOTF really reinforced my boundaries.  What I've learned on OOTF was that my boundaries are for me - to keep me sane.  My FOO seems to be respecting them for the most part. Not sure how long that will last... .

I like your thoughts on scapegoat vs golden child.  My sibling is certainly the golden child.  I don't really see any signs of a PD  there, but sibling is most certainly in denial about our parents.   

[Kizzie]

That's great about your FOO respecting your boundaries - a lot of testing is the usual response.  Going LC really helps with that - if there's not much to push against they usually find another source.  Do you find the LC gives you more time to turn to your CPTSD? 

Your sibling may not have a PD by the way, it's just fairly common with GC's because they are put on that pedestal and don't have much of any grounding unless there's a teacher or coach of family member to help with that. 

[Butterfly]

Hi Nettie. I'm LC too and it's helped my healing the present abusive situation with uPD mum. I'm here now from OOTF to address my past since I've recently started experiencing unreasonable panic even though my present sit articulation is a non issue. When I read about Emotional Flashbacks and CPTSD it really resonated with me. 

The more I read about GC SG and lost child the more I identify with lost child. Used to think GC and to some extent my mum moves me and sibling to different roles at different times.