I need to reflect in solitude about what I really think.

[DecimalRocket]

Hey, didn't know whether to put this in my journal or here, . . . so I just figured to do both. Hi.

Hey, I think I'll be taking a break from OOTS for a bit. I don't know how long — I don't usually plan ahead that far off. I figure it out as a I go.

I know I usually come back when I say this, but I bet I'll really try this this time. Why? Because I realized I don't accept myself. . . because I don't know myself. But in a way, people accepting me here allowed a certain role modeling of what acceptance looks like, that I can use now in solitude.

I thought thinking for yourself was only about the big things — political and spiritual beliefs, education and career choices, long term goals and priorities in life, and so on. But now I believe that thinking for yourself is also about the little things.

What little activities I decide for myself on a day. What little things I say to others or refuse to say on a day. How I define concepts obvious seeming concepts such as true or false, smart or stupid, laziness or hard work, kindness or cruelty, and so on. To remove assumptions and to see life without words — the Truth — a concept I mention at the start of my journal.

I need the details rational and precise, you see — not based on a fear of rejection, ignored or being left out. Maybe in a way they're more important — because these little decisions take up a much larger time of our lives. But I only had enough confidence to start to trust myself this way because of OOTS, after all.

So see you much later, unless I give up on this too soon because of some emotional emergency. Who knows?

Bye. 

[Blueberry]

All the best!

[Dee]

See you later 

[Hope67]

Take care, Decimal Rocket -  to you. 
Hope