Maladaptive daydreaming

[songbirdrosa]

This is a concept I've only recently come across, but I've realised it's been one of my biggest coping mechanisms. And also one of my biggest problems. For anyone who maybe hasn't heard of it, maladaptive daydreaming is where you 'escape' your everyday life through extremely elaborate and detailed daydreams, and they're often triggered by life events or other stimuli.
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/maladaptive-daydreaming#overview1

I'll often ignore or neglect other things I have to do when caught in one of these, and there have been some points where I wanted them to come true so much I've actually made decisions based on what I think might make them reality. Of course, I know logically that they'll never happen, but I just get so invested in it that I can't help myself.

I guess I'm wondering how many other people do this, and if there's any strategies you've used that have helped to lessen it? I'll definitely be speaking to my psychologist about it, but I think hearing from others who suffer can be immensely helpful as well.

[sinthia820]

I have always done this to some extent or another. I feel as if this was how I survived my childhood with as much sanity that I did. I can't imagine life without it. I don't know if I'd ever want to stop.

[melere]

I've been exploring the possibility I do this, too. It's not so much that I escape into a story, per se, but for the last ten years, I am constantly having/preparing for conversations with people, or exploring possible disasterous situations and what I'd do . . . but the conversation thing really gets to me because I'll make expressions/hand movements as if someone is there, and I can't seem to stop doing it.

It's definitely a coping skill, as that's where I have my arguments, where I stand up for myself, where I say the things I really want to say . . . and end up woefully falling short in real life.

[BlancaLap]

Omg yes! I have been doing this all my life, everytime, everywhere.
The best thing is to see the present as it is, no matter how much it hurts. I know it's not the answer you wanted, but if the recovery was pleasant, it wouldn't be that hard. I think we daydream because we have lost the connection to reality, you need to regain that connection. Stopping daydreaming isn't something we can control, it is something that happens when we regain our connection to our true emotions. At least that's is how I see it. When you're in the present, you don't daydream. Maybe that's not your case. I don't know.

[melere]

Omg yes! I have been doing this all my life, everytime, everywhere.
The best thing is to see the present as it is, no matter how much it hurts. I know it's not the answer you wanted, but if the recovery was pleasant, it wouldn't be that hard. I think we daydream because we have lost the connection to reality, you need to regain that connection. Stopping daydreaming isn't something we can control, it is something that happens when we regain our connection to our true emotions. At least that's is how I see it. When you're in the present, you don't daydream. Maybe that's not your case. I don't know.

Oh, I definitely agree! It's going to take time to really see reality for what it is--and instead of running from it, live in it.

I've had periods where I didn't do it as much. This was when I went travelling across Canada for 3 months this fall. It was a nice break but it kind of blew me away when I settled down and started daydreaming constantly again. It's mostly because I'm unemployed and hermitting in my apartment, so definitely not the enriching environment it could be! I think I do it out of loneliness more than anything. And because I don't know what else I'd think about, haha . . .

[Cookido]

I can relate to some of it. Usually when I do repetitive chores like dishes, brushing my teeth, walking from one place to another, I daydream. Just like melere, my daydreams are mainly conversations I would like to have with people. I sometimes notice myself doing facial expressions or are almost about to talk out loud. It's quite common that I get emotional reactions from the day dreaming too.

However, I've never experienced the daydreaming to be an issue. Only when I start to be repetitive in my mind or think the same scenario over and over. Does anyone else recognize the dwelling part of it?

[DecimalRocket]

I've had some of this before, but it has lessened over time.

I'd have grand daydreams of changing the world somehow with elaborate plans, stories, people and emotions around it. There's nothing wrong with daydreaming — it teaches your brain to be more creative — but when it inhibits your life, it's too much.

I find finding something that allows me to acknowledge my reality as something worth living grounds me. Why do you daydream? And if you can find a replacement for that need in real life, you might get into reality more.

For example, I daydream because I want to experience a life going after something big, and so, while it might not be as grand as my daydreams are, finding little ways to do that everyday helps. I wanted my life to be interesting, and finding others who found my life worth listening to helped solidify my experience.

Grounding techniques such as seeing things with your five senses helps. Reminding yourself of what's going on in reality and the present today. Remembering your name, the date, where you are, the difference between daydream world you and real you and so on.

Take care.

[Badmemories]

yes, I have to admit this is also one of My coping skills. I get is a conversation with someone (really with Myself) speaking to a person, and I have all the hand movements and facial expressions to go with it. Some of it does help me though. For me, it is like a rehearsal. I am rehearsing what I am going to say to a person who has offended me or whatever. It helps me to decide which battles to fight. It also helps me to finally speak up for Myself in the most non-offensive way to whomever I have been having the conversations with in My head. So, it probably has some good points with the bad. My Son catches me doing this and tells me about it. So, personally, I am more aware of it.

I suspect for me, part of it is holding back what I feel like saying being with Mental Ill family ALL of My life. The "walking on eggshells" syndrome. A person in a healthy relationship should be able to express themselves FREELY without worrying. For those of US for various reasons did not get the "Safe" place to express ourselves as children probably suffer from this from one degree to another.

My escape as a child was always BOOKS...I read every book My Mom had in their library. True Story magazines, Navy military books, high school textbooks...Whatever I hadn't read...I spend days and months on My bunk bed reading. Right now I spend hours reading things on My computer.

I remember one Daydream of getting out of a "bad" relationship. I even put a deposit on a very small apartment. I never did move in... I'd go there though to clear My head though. So Yes Daydreaming can cause financial problems! I came to My senses and just Divorced the guy. I do at least tell Myself now that You are "daydreaming again".  It is a sign to me that I need to make some positive move for whatever problem I am in.

MIndfullness exercises can help with that. Trying to live in the moment! Thank You for bringing this up...I am going to escape today reading about and printing off Mindfull exercises. If I get some good links I will share them.  pam [/size][/font]

[Gromit]

Yes, always been a dreamer, and an expressive talker (to myself). I thought these were INFP traits anyway? As a child I could read a book in a day, and would re-read all my books. Always somewhere else, that's how I would lose track of why I had gone into a room, or upstairs, catching sleeves and pockets on door handles, getting unexplainable bruises.

[Mussymel]

Yes I have always done this too. It's one of those things I'm embarrassed to admit to because it feels like as an adult I shouldn't do this. But then I read that this is common with CPTSD and recover from childhood trauma. I've got so into my alternative life imaginings that I started writing it, kind of like a tv script, on a fiction site. I guess when this reality sucks it's easier to escape to an alternative one.