Mother

[Butterfly]

Wow Rain, love the way you express these concepts. Especially love the phrase blood is thicker than water!! So good! And here my reply was a simple quote that 'time and unforeseen occurrence befalls all' meaning we aren't destined or foreordained to be in a particular family, we're not 'selected' to suffer. That is martyr thinking, not Gods thinking but religios falsehood.

[Rain]

And, I really enjoyed your quote, Butterfly!  It is about the "Fate and Free Will" deep discussion.

Like you say so well Butterfly, "we aren't destined or foreordained to be in a particular family, we're not 'selected' to suffer."   

We are not Fated to suffer, not placed there in abusing families by God.   No, we are not.


For people that think God Controls all the events of our lives, then you also believe that God does not give us Free Will.   But, that is not the Truth.

We are not puppets on a string controlled by God.   Not Fated.

We have Free Will.    We have Free Will, otherwise we would not have the ability to Choose to Love.     

And yes, that also means people have the ability to Choose NOT to Love, but to hurt others.    Yes, this is how we were so deeply hurt in our childhood.


For Love to exist, there must be 100% Free Will.   For instance, can you demand someone Love you?   Can you Control someone to Love you?   No.   It has to be by their Free Will, by their Choice.

Love does not exist in a world of Fate.

[Butterfly]

Precisely !

[Annegirl]

So good!!! So much wisdom Rain. I just read you whole reading to my husband we were like wow,!! You are so 'on to it' "hit the nail on the head" for me and yes this journey is so beautiful, the journey to discovering what real love is. Ironically my religious mother used to tell me "God tells us to obey your parents so you will live long" and after she would hurt me/ beat me I would pray to G-d and ask him to help me and take away my fear, show me himself etc and He started me on the firsts steps of the journey to find real love and what real love really means and feels like. My therapist has also helped as she is very loving and non judgemental.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us I feel privileged to listen and learn this. It helps a lot!

[Annegirl]

Yes,she tried to split up my engagement with my now husband, by getting my university principal and his wife involved, long story,i had a late miscarriage and needed blood transfusions and hospital asked if i would have 3 mths bed rest and homehelp, she rang me at hospitaland told them she was coming to help and she didnt,
Iam telling you these things because your validation really helps and i just had a friend here who iwent to school with, she always saw the"show" side of my mother when she was out of the house, she was tryingto tell me that all mother'smess up but we just need to see them how they are now and she said she laughs about stuff her mother did now with her siblings.I remember one time on viber my brothers werelaughing about stuff she used to do so i joined in and i mentioned something i thought was funny how she used stuff the special food quickly in her mouth so we couldnt get it (apparently she was starved from special food when she was a child) and my twin brother messaged me a private message saying "we are just saying jokes but you are being mean so you shouldnt say these things about her" (i literally saw no difference i wasnt angry when iwrote that) so i cant just laugh about or talk about stuff with my siblings, they never validate anything i say, they've all taken on her idea of me, that i cant say anything right or that Im always angry and attacking or something.
Does this all make sense?
I thought, if it was all in the past of course i would be well over it, the problem is it kept going and siblings dont see her as i see her.