I danced with a guy

[Dee]

I went out tonight with a friend and and danced with a man; three times, the same guy.  It may seem small to some, for me it is huge.  My ex of 20 years would not dance with me.  We did on our wedding night, just the one song, then I never danced again.    I am so mixed of emotion.  From being happy, to wanting (but not) self harming.   Still, I see this as a positive.

[Kat]

Yay for dancing!  I think I understand the mixed emotion thing.  I don't know about you, but sometimes feeling good feels scary and bad to me.  Is that sort of what you mean by the mixed emotions?  Gentle gentle with yourself. 

[Sceal]

Dancing can be great, and fun!
But I can also understand it being terrifying and scary.
And you avoided SI. I think that's two step forwards right there! Great job Dee

[songbirdrosa]

Well done, Dee 

[Elphanigh]

I am glad you got to dance, it is so great! The mix of emotions is understandable, I hope this can remain a positive thing 

[Three Roses]

 That's awesome! 

[Contessa]

Bittersweet? Something that you always wanted, and when you felt so good feeling it for those three dances, the sadness of never having it for 20 years caught up with you when the dance was over?

That's what I would have felt at least. You did good Dee, keep dancing luv x

[Dee]

I feel good about it today.  I would have never guessed I would dance, it's nice.  Thank you all for your replies, it feels good.

[Blueberry]

Yay Dee  for dancing, and dancing with a guy. That would be huge for me too. And  for not doing SH despite wanting to. Sounds like 3 steps forward to me!