Emetophobia (maybe TW if you're an emetophobe?)

[Bluejerrie]

Does anyone else here suffer from emetophobia (fear of vomit) and is it a symptom of your cptsd? I originally went to my therapist with emet as my primary concern, but she says I have cptsd (due to physical and emotional abuse and neglect and abuse in childhood) and is therefore treating the cptsd.

I do not ever get triggered or feel upset by memories of my abuse. The only thing that makes my life really difficult is the emetophobia. Am I ever going to resolve the emet by focusing on past abuse? Feeling very confused. I having been seeing the therapist for 3 years now and emet is really bad at the moment.

[sanmagic7]

hi, bluejerrie, thanks for sharing.

i believe my mom had this, altho it was never openly discussed.  however, as far as i know she never threw up nor perspired, and was unable to clean up after me when i was a sick little kid.  it was like she kept any bodily anything inside, but i had no idea then that it was a fear.  looking back, it could very well have been.

i do believe my mom had been traumatized as well as a child, and had some major control issues because of it.  since c-ptsd can cause an unknown variety of symptoms, i wouldn't be surprised if this was one of them.  from what i read about it, it's closely related to panic and anxiety, which are definitely linked to c-ptsd.

you may want to talk with your t about this.  it seems that after 3 yrs. you should have gotten at least some idea of the connection, how it works, how your therapy is going to help this, and what the progression might be.  (my opinion).    best to you with this, really.  i hope you get some relief, and soon.

[Bluejerrie]

Thanks for your reply sanmagic7. It's interesting to hear that your mother may have had similar troubles as me. I too cannot look after my 3 year old son when he is sick, I literally run away from him when he vomits because of the uncontrollable panic. I have to leave that all with my husband to deal with.

I think on some level I might be a bit 'in denial' about the link between the phobia and past abuse. Maybe a defence against dealing with the past.

Thanks again for your reply.

[Libby183]

Hi and welcome to OOTS.

I suffer from emetophobia and have done for as long as I can remember.  It has really restricted my life over the years, but has improved since I went no contact with my family.

I have just had my third EMDR therapy session for cptsd from adverse childhood and the phobia was discussed.  My therapist was certain that the phobia is a symptom of cptsd,  probably as a result of very early problems with my mother.

Discussing it all, it made perfect sense and I actually feel validated. 

I feel drained after this session,  but wanted you to know that I relate to your post and that I hope we can discuss this more,  if and when you are ready.

Libby.

[Bluejerrie]

Hi Libby

Mine started really early on in life - the first time I became aware of being terrified of it was when I was 6 years old and, like you, am thinking it's something to do with my early relationship with my mum. My violent stepfather came on the scene when I was 4.

I'm glad that you feel you are beginning to make sense of things in your therapy. I hope to be able to do the same soon.

[ah]

Hi Bluejerrie 

I have some very specific things that scare me, I don't remember why but the more I read about cptsd I get the sense there surely is a very logical reason why I find them so painful. Something that was frightening at the time became terrifying as an after effect or an echo of things we forgot.

Though I have a general idea of the things that could have caused it. I bet I was very small, I expressed some need or feeling, and then they were used against me.

For example: for as long as I can remember if I'm in a lit room and it's dark outside and I can be seen through the window, I freak out and can't do a thing unless I close the shutters.  seems silly, it never disturbs others the way it can really drive me crazy with fear.

I think whatever it is, since I know the desolation that causes such anxiety, I can work on relieving that desolation in me and that may help a bit too, even if I don't remember its specific cause.

Learning about trauma helps me understand how to calm down my body. I guess it can't tell the difference between past and present anyway, so when I manage to help it be less terrified in the present - it works.

I read and try to figure out what my body is doing, that really makes a difference. It's still painful, of course... but a bit more manageable. It doesn't last as long, I feel less guilty when I get scared, it becomes a bit more impersonal somehow. I feel upset then I have to deal with it, do something to solve it and it goes away eventually.

Sadly, it "ignites" instantly but takes anything from half an hour to days to go away. I used to feel so guilty about how weak and stupid I am, unable to calm down, I still do tbh. But... it turns out that's just how our nervous system works. We can't help it.

I guess learning about trauma helps because I know my body is in a lot of distress, but at the same time asmall part of me isn't. That tiny bit of me can watch what's happening as it's happening, knowing it'll pass. Sometimes. Other times I'm too overwhelmed and it's just like a wave that washes over me and I need to wait and consciously freeze and do nothing and bear it.

If that makes sense. 

[Blueberry]

Does anyone else here suffer from emetophobia (fear of vomit) and is it a symptom of your cptsd?

Hi Bluejerrie! Welcome to the forum 

I don't have emetophobia. What I have noticed though is that 'more or less anything' can be a symptom of cptsd. Of course there are physical symptoms whose cause is completely different, but there are physical symptoms where nobody can find a cause.

Fear of something? Fear, panic, anxiety all biggies in cptsd.