No way to fix it....

[treetops]

I've never posted before. I hope this is OK....Had a flashback yesterday. Spent most of the day trying to cope. Being gentle with myself. But, the significant other in my life got home and things got so big.... Was met with anger, and accusations, in impatience, and blame....instead of compassion, and kindness, and love...Still looking for healing in a relationship that has hurt me. So hard to let go. My flashbacks have escalated to the point I hardly leave the house. I used to be so active, involved, happy, had friends, a job...Now I live this isolated, lonely life. Sometimes the days are good. But sometimes they are really bad...Yesterday I was told that I have cursed my partner...He has betrayed me with another woman, lied many times, watched and denied while "friends" and "family" have treated me abusively, but the blame was always put on me. He does not yell at them. He does not confront them, or tell them they are mean. He wants everyone to love him. The only person he ever confronts is me, in the privacy of our home...So sad. I want to fix us both so bad. But I think this might be day one of leaving him in my heart.

[schrödinger's cat]

Hi treetops! Welcome to OOTS, first of all. I'm glad you found us.

And I'm sad to hear that you've got so much abuse and trouble to deal with right now. It sounds hard to bear. I wish I could find something useful to say. But the only thing I can think of is this. It's good that you found the power and steadiness within yourself to distance yourself from your SO's abusive behaviour. And that's true no matter what - if you fix it, if you leave him, either way: you're now firmly on your own side, and you see things clearly.      You deserve better.

[marycontrary]

I second this...being around this type of stress will inhibit healing...

Big hugs...

[Kizzie]

Hi Treetops, I'm so sorry to hear you are having a tough time   Like Cat though I sense you are beginning to think about a life that could be better and what it would take to get there. Take heart in that, it takes courage so kudos.  And you have taken one big step by posting here 

When you have a moment please read through the Member Guidelines and then when you feel comfortable post here again, or in any of the other forums that seem relevant to your situation. You'll find that members are very warm, supportive and encouraging 

Again, welcome and I'm glad you found your way here 

[treetops]

Thank you:)