M at it again

[Jazzy]

I'm mostly writing this to just get it off my chest. Maybe I'm being completely unfair/wrong, I don't know for sure. I'm stuck in heavy dissociation right now, so I hope it will help to get this out there.

Anyway, point is that M is planning to host foreign exchange students to make extra cash for herself now. My immediate thought is that she's going to give someone a poor experience... and maybe a lot worse. I know its for a very limited time (per person), but I'm afraid that based on how rough things are for me, similarly it will be for them because they will be living with her.

It also seems extremely selfish. I would be sure to spend the money... on the student, not use it for myself. I don't know the details of how much the host receives and why, but it just seems wrong to me to keep it for yourself.

I really want to scream at her not to do this, and find some way to stop her.... but unfortunately, from past experiences, you can't upset her too much, or she'll put herself in the hospital (again). All I can do is agree with whatever she says, and I hate it.

[finallyfree]

Jazzy,
Sounds so familiar. So sorry for you.
. I understand and have been there too.
Finallyfree

[LilyITV]

Ugh...

I feel really sorry for the exchange students.  I feel the same way about this as I do people who foster kids for the money. 

[finallyfree]

That's exactly what my golden child sister did, adopted my niece for the money, then didn't care for her properly, treated her like she wasn't even a person, and she is a special needs child. Then when she was about to have to answer for something just deflected it all on me regarding a fight that took place at her home. I was not even in the same city, and I ended up being disowned my my parents, whom I was helping in the hospital when it all went down. So crazy! And I knew when she started the process to adopt that child it would be a nightmare and fall on everyone else around her to care for the child. She attempted to dump that child and all her responsibilities for her on everyone else and she swore to everyone she did it all out of the kindness of her heart? She was a saint? And she never received any money for doing it? You can't reason with people like this. I learned whatever will happen will happen, and I just have to stay away from it and them. I knew it would be another mess, she never ever raised her own kids? And she has grandchildren that need help she ignores. This same type of scenario has played out with her and my other older sister my whole life. They would initiate things and I was expected to pick up and do it all for them because there were a million excuses after the fact why they couldn't take responsibility for what they had started. Jazzy I sadly understand this all too well. The only advice I have is to stay as far away from it all as you possibly can. Didn't mean to make this about me, only attempting to share how close this hits to home for me. Thanks and good luck to you.
Finallyfree

[Jazzy]

Yeah, I feel bad for them too. I wish I could stop it. It disgusts me. The more I think about it, the more it sounds like child exploitation to me. She is literally (planning to be) using younger than adult people to provide a source of income to pay her way in life. It reminds me of when I was 12 and had to deliver 100s of newspapers/flyers every day to help pay the bills/food etc (I had plenty of time as they kept me out of school). I guess nothing much has changed.

Finallyfree, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. That sounds really rough. I wish neither one of us had to go through this stuff, but it sounds like we have some common ground. These people live in their own version of reality, twisting anything and everything to suit them. I wish I could make peace with all this somehow.

Thanks for all the hugs everyone.

[finallyfree]

Jazzy,
I wish you peace moving forward. It is so hard like you stated to have boundaries with people like this that lie and twist everything! Me being disowned was so hurtful, but in the end it freed me of all of their toxic chaos that they always shoved into my life. Try to take care of yourself as much as possible. 
Finallyfree