Dissacociation

[Lyza]

Hey everyone!

I was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing ways that you keep yourself from self-numbing your emotions. In the past, it's been super difficult for me to have productive counseling sessions due to accidentally numbing my emotions when I'm in the therapist's office. Does anybody have ways that they detect and prevent themselves from doing this?

[woodsgnome]

  Hi, Lyza. I see you're new here--welcome and I hope you can find some help on this site and forum. You'll find this group, despite the crushing nature of why we're here, to be helpful as you seek to make sense of what often is purely senseless (or non-sense).

With regards to dissociation, I found this to be a prime habit of mine, including in therapy sessions as you note happened with you. One time I noticed, and pulled myself back into it somehow, began to apologize to the therapist for seemingly having disappeared  but she offered the observation that 1)dissociation is perfectly natural for trauma survivors and 2)it was a good sign that I noticed this myself. So maybe that's applicable to you as well.

While normal, dissociation can bring on bad vibes for everyone, so what to do about it? The million-dollar question, for sure. What I've heard the most, though, and have started practicing, is a talk-back strategy (now that I'm better at noticing it) with what's called the inner critic.

It can be a simple silent reminder or more forceful (said silently, of course). I used to hear someone use this wry comment--"so...there you go again". He was saying this in the guise of political debate, but I recall its humourous tone as being effective in that instance and started applying it to the inner critic's voice. After all, the inner critic's nature is that of an inner debater seeking to outmaneuver you. It seems to have at least made me override the inner critic quicker, if not 100% of the time.

Another way of dealing with this I resisted at first. It was the suggestion of an online therapist/blogger who suggested making friends with voices like those of the inner critic. My first reaction:  ,  , and  .
Thinking about it, though, it dawned on me that as persistent as the inner critic is, perhaps it's also counter-productive to tell it to just shut up. That might actually encourage it to retaliate with more of its harangues.

So I tried this calmer set-to with the inner critic, and it seems better. Albeit, still not consistent as I'd like, but something.

Here's hoping you'll being turning the corner towards a better handling of the terror of being dissociated.

[Sharky]

Hello!  I'm new to the forum, but a "veteran" to CPTSD, unfortunately.  I acquired my CPTSD after 20 years of law enforcement and rescue work.  It was the CPTSD that caused the end of my career (early). 

Disassociation was a really big problem in the beginning , when things hit a breaking point 20+ years ago.  For me, it has never gone away, but has gotten "easier" to deal with.  For me personally, I have learned to steer clear of triggering situations, which helps cut down on incidents.  I am close and honest with my spouse and she is aware of when I disassociate.   She physically places hands on me and will "dig" fingers in to make me notice and keep talking to me.  The physical stimulation often helps me reconnect to the here and now real world.  Snapping back to present takes real internal mental effort though!  It is always easier and more comfortable for me to just "zone out", but that never really helps anything.   Mentally snapping yourself back takes practice.....lots if it!  I eventually adopted the use of a psychiatric service dog.  Life changing!  She alerts on my earliest stress or agitation and forces me to interact with her BEFORE a dissociative spell kicks in.  Since using a dog, my disassociation spells have slowed to the very occasional occurrence.  Disassociation for me , begins before I am aware it is starting.  The dog clues into that right away and breaks that cycle.  A service dog can be life changing if they fit with your situation.  The big draw back is making ones invisible disability, very visible!

[Erebor]

I'm afraid I don't have any tried and tested methods for dealing with numbing/dissociating.  The only thing I can think of is that I tend to dissociate more when I'm overwhelmed, feel unsafe, or I've gone beyond my limits and am worn out. So perhaps there is a link between numbing and what's going on inside you when this happens at your therapist's?

Snapping back to present takes real internal mental effort though!  It is always easier and more comfortable for me to just "zone out", but that never really helps anything.   Mentally snapping yourself back takes practice.....lots if it!  I eventually adopted the use of a psychiatric service dog.  Life changing!  She alerts on my earliest stress or agitation and forces me to interact with her BEFORE a dissociative spell kicks in.  Since using a dog, my disassociation spells have slowed to the very occasional occurrence.  Disassociation for me , begins before I am aware it is starting.  The dog clues into that right away and breaks that cycle.  A service dog can be life changing if they fit with your situation.  The big draw back is making ones invisible disability, very visible!

Snarky, as someone who struggles with and frequently feels overwhelmed by dissocation, I find your post quite inspiring. I have considered getting a dog at times but I'm amazed to hear that they can actually be trained to help for this sort of thing.

[Cookido]

Me and my therapist tried some type of meditation to relax. I was supposed to think of a place where I feel safe and go to that place in my mind. The therapist talks and says things like "reach out with your right hand and pick up what's there. What does it feel like? Is it heavy or light?" etc. We've only done it twice so far. The first time it worked really well and I came back from dissociation and connected with my feelings. The second time I didn't manage, not sure why. But I wanna discover going to my "safe place" more.