High Blood pressure

[sigiriuk]

Dear All
I need a bit of help, advice, or pointers, because I have high BP, which is only partly controlled with meds.
Apart from salt intake, I am convinced that the fury and hatred that i carry, is not helping.
These powerful emotions are directed at my adopted FOO, abusers, and my biological mother.
A desire for revenge is not good energy.
Slim

[Sceal]

Hi Slim!
You are correct, stress (and anger) can affect your BP and increase it.
I don't think there are any easy part to dealing with the fury and the hatred that you're carrying, and I'm not sure if my suggestions are helpful to you. But I will add them, just in case they are

There's been done extensive research on mindfulness and it's affect on lowering stress and depression. And various research concludes that mindfulness has a significant affect on lowering stress, and makes it easier to deal with overwhelming emotions. (if you're not used to mindfulness already - it's a thing that takes time to build up skill in). Mindfulness is not the same as meditation. Mindfulness is more about being aware of your surroundings and being present in the moment right here, right now. The past and the future is put aside, because they don't exist right here and now.

Another thing that has been researched alot is physical activity. Which helps both on high BP and stress. I don't know if it's possible for you, but nature also has an added layer of healing affect on alot of people. So going for a walk or a hike in nature regularily seems to work (it works for me, and I get alot more gloomier, moodier and stressed out if I haven't been in nature for a while).

Other than this, I don't know. Hopefully someone else has some advice or help to give you.
Best thoughts!
Sceal

[Rainagain]

Do you have a BP machine slim?

A friend with high BP got one, helps to check where you are.

I don't know what helps, mine has always been low, stress doesn't raise mine no matter how bad I feel inside.

Its probably more to do with genes than stress I'd guess.

[sigiriuk]

Hi Sceal - thanks, mindfulness is the right way....didnt think it would help as the negative emotions get so intense, but when  someone else recommends it, then I feel more confident to use it.
I am trying to increase my exercise, but the meds make me quite breathless, but I wont give up.......I've been through far worse over the years (ironic smile).

And Rainagain - I read somewhere that it is partly genetic. I have a high cholesterol even though I rarely eat meat/eggs, and my GP said it was my ethnicity. I took the statin and it dropped right down. Funnily enough I had a BP machine gathering dust, but since this new problem, it has become my best friend.

Slim

[Gromit]

I am regularly amazed that I have never had high blood pressure, given the stress I have always been under.

My mother, after she was diagnosed with angina had a BP monitor which she wore on her wrist, constant checking. Perhaps such a thing would help?

Yoga can also lower BP, but is less strenuous, if you can find a class that isn't Ashtanga or Power yoga as those are quite aerobic.

[sigiriuk]

Thx Gromit
I did try Hot yoga but it nearly killed me. I will try Ashtanga.
Slim

[Gromit]

Thx Gromit
I did try Hot yoga but it nearly killed me. I will try Ashtanga.
Slim

No, not Ashtanga, try Hatha, gentle yoga if you can find it. I have tried Hot yoga once, I don't think it would help you at all.

[Kizzie]

I don't know if this would lower your BP but what about getting some of the anger and fury out indirectly (beating on a pillow or your mattress, screaming somewhere no-one will hear, writing a letter you don't mail and let it all out) ?   It might have the opposite effect I don't know but it might also release some of what you're feeling or reduce it at least.

Also, do you know why your biological M gave you up?  If not maybe it would be an idea to try and find out.  It may be she did so for understandable reasons that will help your feelings about being put up for adoption. I watch Long Lost Family which is a show where staff help adoptees to find family and fill the hole and questions they've always had, even when adoption has been a positive experience.  Most times the adoption was the only recourse at the time.      if this would be territory into which you don't want to venture so if not plse disregard.

[sigiriuk]

Hi Gromit - OK - I'll find a Hatha centre! Thx.

Kizzie - hammering a pillow should take the edge off it......also I am starting to see that i grew up being full of frustration, anger, and hatred...it was the norm. So I have carried this into adult life......
My biological mother is off the radar unfortunately....tried everything - two PIs on different continents - people with similar names...but she doesn't want to be found. And it perpetuates my frustration....I am beginning to see how much i live by it.

Slim

[Kizzie]

Hey Slim - not to push but many of the people on that show I mentioned (I watch the US one but there's a UK and an AU one) had been trying to track down biological parents/children/siblings for years without success, many like you spending a lot of money.  Most files are sealed or redacted so they don't get very far. On top of that, many birth parents want to find their child they put up for adoption but are unwilling to cause any problems for them so they don't register for contact.  In some cases on the show the birth parents  have passed away but there are siblings they did not know about and other family such as aunts/uncles  they do connect with. 

Anyway, it is the DNA databases like Ancestry that are really moving things forward in terms of connecting these days (based on how the show approaches things).  I don't know if you've had your DNA tested, but when you do you may get matches that do help you to track down your birth parents.  I did mine with Ancestry DNA, not for adoption but for more info about my heritage since I have mostly broken ties with my FOO.  It may even be that you could apply to the show and they can help you in your search     

Anyway, again this is not to push but to suggest it may not be that your birth M does not want to make contact, but that like many people she is reluctant to disturb your life or unfortunately has passed away. The one striking thing I see in the people in the who is that whatever the case the hole in their hearts disappears once they know.