Disclosure at work

[Snookiebookie2]

Hi Guys

I told my employer about 18 month ago that i have anxiety.  I've referred to having social anxiety with a few colleagues.

I'm pretty sure they'll be aware from the way that I act and demeanour that I struggle daily with anxiety.  But they also know that I don't take time off due to it and that I work hard.

My job is very triggering (responsibility,  lack of training and outside parties involved). 

I've often thought of disclosing my CPTSD.  But then again....

Has anyone disclosed to their employer? Good reaction or bad?  Would you consider it at the moment during the pandemic (which is causing lots of problems for employers).  Any advice?

I have it in my head that it would be easier once they know. But would it make me more ashamed?  Or more needy? Or would I use it as an excuse?

Thanks

[Not Alone]

How have they reacted to what you already disclosed?

[findingpeace2018]

Hi Snookiebookie2.  I did tell my employer, actually 2 weeks into the quarantine this year.  I got completely overwhelmed by work and having my daughter e-learning at home.  I was not thrilled that I had to disclose, but my boss did already know.  I needed to take medical leave, so HR had to be made aware of my "PTSD (Complex PTSD isnt in the DSM so we used PTSD for medical leave pay) due to childhood trauma".  I had alot of reservations, but not much of a choice.  After everything, I was able to return to work, 3 days per week instead of 4.  I was off for 2 months.  It was exactly what I needed.  We increased my therapy, and I was able to realize how close I was to a breakdown.  I never slow down, even when I need to.  So this was a necessary wake up call for me.

I hope this helped.   Please let us know how you are doing and what you decide.  We are here in support with however you decide to handle this.

[Snookiebookie2]

Findingpeace, thank you for sharing. Sounds like you did the right thing.

Notalone, my employers didn't really react. Or should I say they didn't react negatively.   I told them when I was in a pretty good space and I did it just in case I hit a rough patch.

I find it very difficult to deal with people, which is a big part of my job.  This is why I refer to it as social anxiety.    And sometimes I have told friends that I have generalised anxiety.  In the UK we don't need diagnosis to receive treatment (no insurance companies involved). So I don't have a formal diagnosis.   My therapist and I have bounced the terms CPTSD, PTSD and trauma. So thats what I think I have.  To me social anxiety and generalised anxiety are symptoms of my CPTSD.   I also score highly for Avoidant personality disorder and have my ruminations are almost on OCD levels.  But again, to me the root is CPTSD.

I'm not seeking time off (yet), it's just some times I think it'd be nice to have people understand why I am different.  Why I act and react differently.  I also wish they appreciated how much pain I'm in and how much work triggers me. And how hard it is to just turn up.

If I did become sick (as I have three times - all different employers) I don't feel 'better' for the time off (possibly due to guilt and shame). And I end up, eventually wanting/needing more time off. This is usually when I look for another job.  But that's not as easy due to the pandemic.   

The fact that I'm always on edge is why I was wondering about disclosure.