"Healing The Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by Janina Fisher

[Fen Starshimmer]

Hello Hope,

I enjoyed reading your reminders  of some of Janina Fisher's earlier writing in the book. There's so much to learn in every page, and easily forgotten. 

I wish I had known this years ago:

p42 "Depression might once have provided a cushion against disappointment and being overwhelmed.  Hypervigilance enables even children to stand guard over themselves.  Numbing and loss of interest allow the individual protection against grief and disappointment: if you don't care, it doesn't matter anymore.  Anger pushes others away before they cause harm or, worse yet, before the survivor develops an attachment to them." 

"From a neurobiologically informed perspective, they are "survival resources", ways that the body and mind adapted for optimal survival in a dangerous world."
"

In a way it feels like an achievement to be here now, to be able to sit down and calmly read this book, and others like it, digest and learn from their contents. It's an achievement to have made it this far.

I have reached Chapter 7, page 126, with a triggering theme which I am having to go extra slowly with: Working with Suicidal, Self-Destructive, Eating Disordered, and Addicted Parts.
Straightaway, in the opening paragraphs, I am identifying with what is written, as if it is describing me, as my life used to be - and that's quite scary. Thankfully it is 'used to be' as I survived and have been in a long and bumpy recovery. No one else has ever described this set of feelings and behaviours as accurately as Janina. No one has ever understood like she has...  What an amazing book. It almost brings tears to my eyes    Perhaps I will post some less triggering extracts from this chapter when I have finished it. It's important to understand the whys and hows, to make sense of what happened, and what could happen again, although I think that's unlikely because I am more conscious and knowledgeable now, and have some self-love to protect me.

I hope to see some more of your insights from the book later, and Whobuddy and others.

[Hope67]

Hi Fen Starshimmer,
I've only just read this - because I've been away, but it's great that you are relating to Janina's book - I am glad that you've written about your thoughts in reaction to it - as it really is helpful to see what we each write - I think so.  The very fact of being able to talk to each other about our experiences, and share them, it's so meaningful and also very different from having to try to cope with things alone and 'get through things'.


You are sensible to go extra slowly with the chapters that are more triggering for you - I also have found the same thing - with different paragraphs even.

I also feel that Janina really 'gets it' and 'understands' and that she describes this in her writings. 

I am glad that you have a greater level of consciousness now - that you're more knowledageable now, and also that you have some self-love to protect you - those are all such great things, and will be helpful going forward.

I will certainly be continuing to pop back here when I think of things to say - following further insights from the book.  I've not read it for a while now, due to being away, but I know I will be dipping into it many many more times, as it's like a 'key' to me.

Hope