frightened

[sunshine31]

this morning I experienced a flashback well i think it was I felt panicky upset depressed a bit dissociated and completely cut off, the way i felt this morning really frightened me,, I was so extremely upset.. so I forced myself to do some yoga for anxiety and depression after,, it helped a little at the time.. and then i proceeded to have a shower and while I was in the shower I was telling myself that I was safe and that my parts were safe and that all we were doing was washing my body and I was trying to focus on the moment
then after again not long after I noticed I felt really bad again and now I am not sure what is one meant to do when they try and try they do the things there therapist suggests.. and they still feel bad.. what is a person meant to do
I then had to spend time with my niece and nephew as they had come down,,.. again a little hard as I kept feeling a little sad due to my childhood and my little parts
I have just had a angry outburst shouting raising my voice in complete anger at what I have to keep dealing with
while I was doing this I felt like I was doing something wrong
I have been in emotional pain again since my nephew left feeling like a little upset child
then I suddenly felt really angry at life.. I am highly pained by this whole existence and even therapy is starting to feel like too much because in between therapy i have to deal with all these emotions and all these things all by myself and today it has felt like too much
what is a person meant to do

[Rainagain]

So sorry to read how you are feeling.

I have nothing to offer to help, but wanted to simply reply.

[milk]

Feeling deeply hard emotions in between therapy is like a trapped feeling for me but I had to figure it out (like what you are doing: shower, crying, self talk,.. ) — because like the kids visiting you, something is always around the corner to be present to. I will take the time away - see no one, and head for a hike in the wilderness, cry, scream, let it out — and then let the wilderness come in. Sit for awhile and listen, its not so quiet. I cant always fix it right then and there — so i let that go. I focus on my thoughts and mood.

Something I also realize is that I will not always have the therapist, which is good, because ultimately I will always have myself. when I do find that space to heal on my own — I let the T know and take a break. Give myself some practice in self healing, then return to therapy with the self work in place ready to un jumble something else.

may letting things happen take you where you need to go

[sunshine31]

Yes it can feel trapping. It is good that you can get out. you see i struggle to get out much and i feel very very isolated. my symptoms and my mental illness really isnt helping my confidence to do barely anything outside.
Today has been extremely hard aswell I think I had another flashback earlier
I had to talk to the parts of myself on paper earlier and I think I realised some of why I was feeling the way I was
but because i have all these different parts of myself, sometimes the small parts say I dont want to help myself I dont want to do therapy
Today has been a really bad day again for half of it lots and lots of crying too much
Is it good to take breaks from therapy? Does that help some people?
sometimes I feel like therapy is pointless and it is too difficult and frustrating and taking way too long, and  sometimes working on the memories can be a bit too scary, as I noticed this week I havent been feeling as stable a bit all over the place
thanks Milk for taking the time to comment

[Three Roses]

Is it good to take breaks from therapy? Does that help some people?

It has helped me. Taking a break from therapy now, planning to return after the new year. Sometimes I give myself a vacation from recovery too, I stop reading about it for a while. It can be exhausting and when I'm tired I need a break from what's making me tired. Hope this helps you. 

[LilyITV]

 

[Morelia]

Hi Sunshine,

I can't give any advice because I am trying to work out how to deal with the exact same problem myself. I wanted to thank you for sharing because now I know I am not alone with feeling this way sometimes - and you are not alone either.

Hugs if you want them, 
Morelia

PS: I love your little bird avatar.