Sadness flashbacks? Is that a thing?

[lyricalliv13]

I just started feeling that weird heavy feeling after doing the first part of one of many trauma narratives, and I cried a little. I can't explain it right now very well because I literally just came out of it a few seconds ago, but it got me thinking because it was very mild and fast. I've had much worse and now I'm wondering if these are EFs?

I remember once, that heavy feeling started. For a second I couldn't cry. It was like I was blocked. And then something popped up in my mind and it was like I became possessed. I sobbed so hard it was scary. At one point I screamed - but it was weird because it was more out of frustration and really intense sadness than fear.

Is this kind of sadness an EF? Like I'll start thinking about what happened and feel like my heart's been ripped out. The fact that she did those things makes me really, really sad sometimes

[Eyessoblue]

Hi there, yes this is definitely an emotional flashback, I too am going through exactly the same thing at the moment. I get engulfed in a tidal wave of emotion that literally takes over my body, it's been going on for over a year now. Suddenly last  week I was able to cry with it first time ever, I had no trigger just an intense build up of sadness and emotion, my therapist said this is definitely an e.f and if I can cry it will release it, so just now learning to sit with it and letting myself cry if I need to.

[ah]

This may be just me but... what you're describing is just how I felt when I tried narrative trauma, and it's the reason I stopped it. It seems to be very good for ptsd, but maybe it isn't always suitable for cptsd.

It's really personal so if it doesn't help you, feel free to ignore it:

In my experience, if I go through a trauma narrative as it is, just the memories of the raw facts of what happened to me without adding in more things, then it's too much. I feel buried under it. Instead of helping me re-integrate my memories and make sense of my life, it just weakens me further. So I stopped doing narrative exercises and I sort of incorporated the narrative viewpoint into a larger scheme. When I go through my trauma narratives now I always add extra things before and after.
For example, I might do this: take a few moments to breathe and try to be in my body (instead of my usual habit of dissociating all the time); then I gently and cautiously go through a specific memory, then I also go through what I'm feeling when I remember that memory (I might give the feelings names: I now feel sad, angry, shocked, disgusted, whatever it may be), and I might add more things like trying to imagine the same thing happening to someone else which helps me feel compassion. I can't feel compassion for myself, but when I imagine the same memory in someone else's life quite often it helps me turn the really heavy sadness, for example, into something softer that's less painful.

Or I might go through the memory and then imagine the people who were in it are sitting next to me now and I talk to them. Calmly, as the person I am today, I tell them what I think about what they did and the impact it had on me.

And other things I've tried. They vary... but in all cases I add extras to the narrative. Otherwise I get the sense my brain can't handle just the narrative on its own.

Maybe.

[InExile]

I get the same thing. Just an overwhelming feeling of sadness, but for me, not connected to any specific thing. I'm getting better at handling them now. Not always, but I can often be OK with it, pay attention to my breath and wait for the feelings to pass.

[Luke57]

I, too, have bouts of sadness that come over me out of no where. I haven't had a name for this experience but now I do: " sadness flashbacks ". That is a perfect description. I'm having one right now that just started today. I came to the forum looking for what people had to say about EF's. I found this discussion which perfectly describes what I'm going through.

It is a beautiful, sunny, not too hot day where I live. That's when they always seem to happen - on the most gorgeous days of the year. I had lots of bad things done to me no matter what kind of day it was. But, when it happened on a beautiful day the shock and unfairness of it all seemed to make it worse. As a child I felt safest and the most carefree when I could be out in the sun and fresh air, playing by myself in my own little world ( probably completely dissociated ). I can remember being verbally or physically assaulted on days like that for no apparent reason, totally catching me by surprise. Even worse than whatever abuse I had to endure was the sudden shock of being jerked out of my imaginary world back into the "real" world of pain and sadness.


I appreciate the helpful advice of breathing and staying present in my body.  But maybe most of all I just need to grieve and cry over what that little boy lost and went through. He never felt he was allowed to cry. And at 61 years old I still have trouble getting the tears to come. I guess they'll come when they're ready. I'm in a safe place now in my adult body so I'll give it a try. Thank you everyone.


Luke

[Rowan]

We sit and silently weep quietly, and it really is a martini flashback.

Anytime, any place, anywhere.

Rowan