My type of self-harm - Trigger warning

[Andyman73]

 
Well done on hair washing.
Sometimes it's all I can do, to do the basics as well.

[Blueberry]

Thank you Andy! Put a big  on my face

[Andyman73]

Glad it made you smile, BlueBerry! That was my intent. 

[Blueberry]

Quoting from another thread:

I feel like mentioning that I've heard handwriting utilizes a different part of the brain, enabling you to access deeper feelings.

Interesting. Presumably one reason I'm better off writing here and not writing out by hand in my paper journal. Here is safe-guarding me from going too deep. Writing by hand in almost all situations gives rise to me pulling my hair out. While there are a whole host of reasons for me behind this type of SH, one is anger directed at myself that ought to be directed elsewhere and another is a general type of self-punishment for breaking family taboos e.g. speaking out (washing their dirty laundry in public)

It's also a lot harder for me to write in my paper journal. I get stuck, my brain closes down, I lose my train of thought, can't feel emotions and remain in thinking part of brain. Tho it has been getting a bit better recently, a sign of healing I'm sure.

[Deep Blue]

Blueberry,
I'm with you on this.  It's sometimes harder for me to write in a physical journal for 2 reasons.  1 because I shut down... similar to how you feel I think?  But also because I'm scared my T will have me read it out loud.  I'm not a fan of doing that.

I like how you said that you are getting better in this area and noted your progress.  Well done

[Blueberry]

Thanks Deep Blue 

Yes, it sounds as if 'shutting down' might be what I'm doing.

I actually often read bits to my T, it helps me remember and focus on what's been going on in the interim 2, 3, 4 weeks. We all have different ways of surviving, different breakthroughs in healing. Different strengths you could say but I don't like seeing the other side of the coin as a weakness because it got there through injury, not intrinsic 'weakness'. 

[Deep Blue]

We all have different ways of surviving, different breakthroughs in healing. Different strengths you could say but I don't like seeing the other side of the coin as a weakness because it got there through injury, not intrinsic 'weakness'.

Well said! I agree with you here so much