I dared

[Sceal]

On Monday I asked my Lady T about wether I should say yes to meeting a surgeon now, or postpone it. Her response made me scared that she think it's time to end therapy. I was on the fence on how to deal with this fear, if I should wait and see what happens. If I should tell her this is worrying me and ask her what she was actually thinking, get my GP to call her and say she's worried about me.  Or ask her about it after group today.

So I ended up asking her today. It was a spur of the moment desicion. I said that after session on Monday I felt a bit worried. She asked if if was something she said or did, and I was honest and said yes. I told her that I worried she meant the end of treatment now. I told her I was also worried if I should ask her, but that I didn't want it hanging over me now that I'm going abroad. She told me that she had no plans on ending therapy now. And I was hit with a wave of relief. I feel like I can breathe again for the first time since I left her office on Monday.
I also told her I feel like I am not functioning at the moment. It wasn't a topic we went into, since we only had a few minutes. But I told her I am just practicing telling her how I really feel at the moment. She appreciated that.

But it was so nice, to be able to actually use my words. I feel, and I hope the people around me agrees, that I have become better at using words.

So today I am acknowledging my success!

[sanmagic7]

 

this is so great to hear.  i acknowledge and celebrate your success as well, sweetie.  you're doing great - i hope you keep it up.   love and hugs.

[Kizzie]

Wow Sceal, hurrah and kudos to you             

So glad it went well and you found out what you needed to - that's some great self-care and risk-taking 

[Deep Blue]

To say I'm impressed with you would be an understatement Sceal.  I know how hard that was for you to ask that question of Lady T.  I'm also glad you got the answer you wanted. 

Deep breaths now and enjoy your trip 

[Blueberry]

  for your bravery.  on the response. You must feel very relieved. Have a good trip!

[Three Roses]

 

[Sceal]

Wow! So many supporting replies! Thank you all!

I barely got any sleep last night, body pain and nervousness. Reading all your replies and support is cheering me up here I sit at the airport at an ungodly hour. 

[radical]

Good for you, Sceal!!!!!!

And whatever the surgery is, or if it isn't, all the best.