General Information

[Blueberry]

Well the deal fell through after keeping us & our house sale tied up for two weeks - grrrrrrrr!

I'm sorry about that. I say "Grrr" too. 

[Kizzie]

Tks BB     One CPTSD take away is that our hypervigilance is sometimes useful as I was seeing little red flags a/b the deal and was asking questions. 

Turns out they started to have second thoughts early on and were giving excuses as to why they couldn't meet two of the conditions (getting fire insurance & having a home inspection) by the date we originally  agreed to.  When we heard about the fire insurance being an issue b/c it's fire season (although it hasn't started this year fortunately) we phoned our insurance agent and found out that was nonsense. We insisted they speed up and git er done. Then they brought their realtor through to measure the house and said is was smaller than the listing.  We had our realtor measure and check the village records - again nonsense. 

They just weren't experienced buyers and had a less than proficient realtor so they didn't seem to realize they could walk away rather than keep us hanging on. We had agreed to extend the conditions date so they could get the last two conditions dealt with.  In the end we lost another week but the way it was dragging on it could have been much longer if we hadn't pushed back, asked questions.

So the moral of this story is despite having CPTSD you can and should trust your gut, even or especially when your Inner Critic is telling you you are too sensitive, bitchy, whatever... You can meet people halfway to be sure but when you sense they are taking advantage or not taking your needs into account for whatever reason, enforce your boundaries. It's a good thing to do for yourself. 

We have a showing tomorrow so fingers crossed 

[Blueberry]

So the moral of this story is despite having CPTSD you can and should trust your gut, even or especially when your Inner Critic is telling you you are too sensitive, bitchy, whatever... You can meet people halfway to be sure but when you sense they are taking advantage or not taking your needs into account for whatever reason, enforce your boundaries. It's a good thing to do for yourself. 

on being far enough along in your healing to do that!!  And thanks for the idea that others of us on here could act that way too (like me with my ll).

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for tomorrow

[Kizzie]

Sorry, keep getting sidetracked in this thread when it's meant to be about resources for building protective factors.  Here's a video which is actually for physicians and childhood trauma but I thought that it's a good example of a protective factor we so need; that is, having knowledgeable (about relational trauma) medical professionals on our side.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=461&v=fc7NBdCYUAE&feature=emb_title

I've personally never been asked about any childhood trauma and I have moved a lot (military family of origin and choice).  It's as though mental and physical health are separate which is false given the empirical evidence linking childhood trauma to illness & disease.  I started telling my doctors about my trauma to build resilience - s/he will need to understand my past in order to assist me in the present.

Glad to see videos like this to educate physicians about ACEs/childhood trauma as it means we will not have to educate physicians as time goes on, they will know the impact of trauma and ask patients about it.

The take away is that we need having trauma knowledgeable professionals onside.

[Kizzie]

A helpful resource I came across today - "Intention Setting: To Love & Be Loved"