I am safe now

[sanmagic7]

i've been doing an adulterated version of a new-ish therapeutic technique on myself lately, and the other day the words 'i am safe now' floated up into my consciousness.  this is the first time i can remember actually 'feeling' this safe-ness since i was about 2 yrs. old, being rocked to sleep by my dad.  i could feel it then (i have a lovely memory of that), and have never felt it since, until 2 days ago.

i've heard from therapists, and others, the phrase 'you're safe now', but it never touched me.  i've never felt it even tho i could logically understand what was being said.  still, 'safe', to me, means that i don't have to do everything myself, don't have to figure everything out all the time on my own, don't have to be hyper-vigilant because i'm the only one who will take care of and protect me.  i think it also meant to me that i'm not completely shackled by thoughts, feelings, and emotions that don't help me.

what i don't think i've realized before, either, was just how much fear i've been carrying around most all my life.  i didn't really feel it, couldn't access or acknowledge it, but i'm thinking it must have been there w/o my knowing it, as a constant companion.   wow - that's trippy to think of.

maybe now i can begin to unwind my tensed-up muscles and learn what it feels like to relax on a regular basis.  i don't know, but i'm thinking this may be a start.  it's a warm feeling way deep inside.

[Three Roses]

San, how lovely! I'm so happy you feel this! Fireworks are going off, just for you. 💜💜💜

[Tee]

That's great san I'm so Happy for you!

[Kizzie]

Delighted to hear this San   

[Blueberry]

  

[sanmagic7]

thank you blueberry, kizzie, tee, and 3r - your responses made my heart smile.  it's such a nice feeling, i hope everyone gets it sooner rather than later.  love and hugs to all of you!

[Not Alone]

i've been doing an adulterated version of a new-ish therapeutic technique on myself lately, and the other day the words 'i am safe now' floated up into my consciousness.  this is the first time i can remember actually 'feeling' this safe-ness since i was about 2 yrs. old, being rocked to sleep by my dad.  i could feel it then (i have a lovely memory of that), and have never felt it since, until 2 days ago.

  I am so glad you experienced feeling safe. I hope that you experience that feeling more and more.

[sanmagic7]

thanks, notalone, and back atcha.  i hope you have it or get it soon.

it's still with me, which is really wonderful.  i know you've all helped me w/ it, too.  thanks for that.  love and hugs to you all.

[Tee]

That's awesome one day maybe I'll get there so happy for you!

[sanmagic7]

thanks, tee.  i appreciate your support.  i hope you get there sooner rather than later.  love and 

[Bach]

What a wonderful feeling that must be!  I'm happy for you, and it gives me hope to hear about it.  Thank you for sharing.

[sanmagic7]

why thank you, bach.  i'm glad it gave you hope - that's wonderful!  it is one of the best feelings i've ever had!  and, you're welcome.   love and a hug full of hope to you.