England

[Kubali]

Just wondering if there is anyone here from england at all?

Kubali

[VeryFoggy]

Hi Kubali, I am not from England but I have been there and also lived in Europe for 3.5 years.

[Kubali]

Hello Veryfoggy

I like the name by the way. Sounds like you are a well travelled person! Whereabouts in England and Europe have you been?

Kubali

[VeryFoggy]

I have only been to London but I definitely enjoyed it.  I lived in Lausanne Switzerland for 3.5 years and had opportunity to visit many parts of France, Germany, Austria, Italy and Spain. I was 11 when my family moved there, and I was 15 when we moved back to the US.  I am almost 58 now, but I will never forget what I saw.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi

I live in XXXXX
And yourself ?

[Kitsie]

I'm originally from Gosport but grew up in London.. I've been in Canada since 73, so mostly Canadian now.. but I have family in the south, midlands, Kent areas.  I'll be travelling there in the fall for a wedding. 

I love travel.. its something that I've realized about my social anxiety, I'm more comfortable around strangers than people I know or have known me.  Funny that ;-) I'd put that down to knowing that there are dangers lurking in foreign places but the correct instincts are in place, and when I'm closer to people there is an inherant mistrust of their motives.  Probably because most of the time it was someone I knew and trusted that hurt me rather than strangers.  Perhaps that is the draw for this forum as well.  I feel like I've exhausted others by the continual need to talk through things. 

I'm actually really looking forward to my trip in October.  Fly in to Paris, 4 nights there, train to London, via Brighton to Fareham/Gosport.. a few days with family, then off to Bath, Cornwall and eventually ending up in Derbyshire/Nottingham for more family, then the last 4 days in London on my own exploring.  I love hanging out at the national gallery.  3 weeks on a solo adventure.  Pats self on back for pushing fears aside. 

[Kubali]

To VeryFoggy

Sounds like you got to enjoy the best of Europe! I'm glad it has remained a treasured memory. I'm with you on that completely. That was one of the good things about my FOO, they were well travelled too. Some positive experiences to offset the Abyss don't you agree

Kubali

[Kubali]

To Boatsetsailrose

I have never been to Bristol. I've heard it's lovely! I'm living in a small town at the moment.  It's quiet and peaceful. Best of all its 150 miles away from my FOO and my Ex Husband. I escaped here about 8 years ago. Been No Contact with all of them since then. Best present I could have given myself!!

Kubali

[Kubali]

To Kitsie

Your upcoming trip sounds heavenly!! How glorious for you. I Hope you have a fantastic time. I'm totally with you about the National Gallery. I love History. Did a degree in it years ago! One of the best times of my life. Truly free for the first time. I have thought about why I love history so much. Came to the conclusion that they are all dead and can't hurt me.

I'm the same re strangers. I'm far more comfortable with them than anyone else. No emotional investment I guess. I'm at my happiest out in the country with my dogs and no one else in sight. Can be relaxed, myself and at peace. How about you?

Kubali

[Boatsetsailrose]

Kubali

Yes the West Country is wonderful - we went on a hike today as part of a walking group over the mendips - the views were Glastonbury tor one way - Bristol and Wales to the north and Devon to the south - it was quite something

Yes I have been nc for 7 yrs now with some foo - I have just rang my Granma and for the 1st time ever she said my mother was there - made me feel uncomfortable - yuk

[Kubali]

To Boatsetsailrose

Wow that sounds fabulous! XXXXXXX is about 1 1/2 hours from me. I love it there. Your walking group sounds so wonderfully healing. I wish I had the confidence to join a group. I'm horribly prone to isolating behaviours still. But I walk miles with my dogs.

In Pete Walkers book he said that some people are so traumatised that they can only cope with pets and books. That's me. I want to try and change this tho. Sooner rather than later. I worry about it all the time. The programming is still so strong.

Kubali

[Boatsetsailrose]

Kubali I can very much relate !
I am just coming out of it - before I just couldn't cope with socialising and needed to hide and heal- I would keep telling myself 'come on get out there and you just aren't normal ...
In hindsight I needed this down time and I took it - I feel now that it was a healing and rejuvenating time and I needed space to fray my poor nerves - people were just so over whelming and I couldn't tolerate it.. I felt that my lack of worth and boundaries were drawing me back from relating to others -

Joining the walking group was my first step to 'normal living ' I have been working with a child trauma specialist who is just wonderful ( very grateful -
I have done 2 walks now and I find like minded people there who surprisingly are not jangling my nerves as much as some people in society -
There seems to be a commonality amongst us - needing nature to help us -
Also I find it is good as I can talk or not talk as much as I feel I need due to being able to walk at different paces - dropping back or speeding up - it gives me control over social interaction which I normally find overwhelming
I found the group on ' meet up' it's a great app for finding something of interest in your area -
I can't say I was completely 'nerve free - on yesterday's walk - but the soothing thing was I could see some other people weren't either - but when I got back I felt good and proud and then I took time alone to 'de frag what I needed to
Yes XXXXXXX is very healing - a very special place
All best wishes 

[Kizzie]

Hi Folks - The Mod Team and I have made a couple of edits so the exact location you live in isn't apparent. We know you are adults and can choose to disclose or not disclose, but there are trolls on the Internet who use this type of info for nefarious means, and as such we ask in our Member Guidelines that you don't post any specific identifying information.  If trolls do come and see that we make an effort to protect our anonymity they are more likely to move on and cause havoc elsewhere. There is also the possibility for some members that people from their lives can use the info to identify them. Anyway, if you can keep it to a country and then general places you have visited, hiked, etc., that would help protect your anonymity and this Board.

I enjoyed the images your descriptions conjured up for me - it was like a lovely little break for my mind and soul    Have a wonderful trip Kitsie!