Learning to recognize a flashback

[arale]

I'm still new to this. I find it so hard to recognize triggers and flashbacks.

I need to say "no" to a work commitment that I had made a long time ago. I am convinced that my colleague will hate me for that. I feel threatened, in danger, because I feel I am going to lose his "love" (definitely has the ring of the fear of losing my mother's love if I displeased her). I'm constantly obsessing to find a way out of this "dangerous" situation. How can I keep this commitment? How can I keep the love?

I've been trying to use Pete Walker's list to identify flashbacks but I'm still unclear if this is one or not. For example, my emotional reactions seem relatively minor, but they are constant and obsessive - they wouldn't let me go. I don't necessarily feel small or helpless, but I do feel that I'm worthless compared to my colleague. I have noticed that my inner critic has become more active. And yes, I do want to eat, watch TV to get these unpleasant obsessive thoughts out of my mind, which seems "normal" to me (probably because I've had these reactions all my life). I don't shake. My heart is not beating faster. I don't seem to have any physiological symptoms.

How do I know if I am having a flashback?

[saylor]

For me, the best way I can generalize is that they involve me experiencing some kind of negative emotion (anger, sadness, fear) that:
1) seems to come from out of nowhere, very suddenly, like an explosion
2) is way out of proportion to the matter at hand (and I can realize this while it's happening, but I can't stop it)
3) I have to try mightily to hide it from those around me, and I may fail
They're deeply unpleasant. They take up a lot of energy. They can be embarrassing. They have potential to cause others discomfort

[Healing Finally]

They're deeply unpleasant. They take up a lot of energy. They can be embarrassing. They have potential to cause others discomfort

I CONCUR...