In a Bad Place ***Trigger Warning-SH****

[Bach]

I'm just saying Hi from all of us  Bach caught up with this thread today and wanted to say Hi and encourage you, but we've been sick for a few weeks and she's caught up with not being able to figure out how to say the right thing so I told her I'd tell you.  I'm taking care of us right now because I learned how to do that when we were sick the week I turned 10.  I hope you all are doing okay!  I'll tell Hope about my cow soon.  Bye for now!

[Not Alone]

Snowdrop, thank you. It does help Hope to hear that she did nothing wrong. The feelings are so deep and so to hear it many times from different people and straightforward is helpful.

Middle B and all the Bs. Thank you for saying hi and encouraging us. Middle B, I think it's brilliant that you are able to take care of everyone while you've been sick. That is a big job. Hope looks forward to hearing about your cow. I hope you all feel better soon.

Today in session we talked more about the email issue. I told him I was angry and hurt. He heard my feelings and (again) acknowledged that he should have done some things differently. (I'm too tired to write the details.) After that Hope felt safe enough to come out and show T her doll.

I feel like within the relationship with T, I am healing from that hurt. I can no longer see the deep, dark hole that I was buried in a few weeks ago. I'm aware that it exists, but the darkness is about being thrown away as I child, not being thrown away now.

[MoonBeam]

NotAlone, I'm soooo glad Hope felt safe enough to engage with T in session. She has been so brave. T is right, he made a mistake and it had nothing to do with Hope, or you NotAlone.  I'm glad to hear it feels like the relationship is in repair and you are experiencing healing from the hurt that you experienced from all that happened with your T. That is huge.

Feeling thrown away. It is so deep and dark. It has been one of the biggest wounds for me as well. It is in that core of worthlessness I carried for so long. The reason I could never get to the little 4yo me, who desperately needed some love. The reason for so many things, patterns, beliefs I held my whole life.  Recently that has shifted. I'm aware now, just as I can say to you and believe 100% that you are a beautiful, worthy, lovable, brave and strong being, that I am worthy too.
You are so right. It starts by knowing now, today, you are not being thrown away, that you are worthy, that you were worthy and lovable then, but sadly there was no-one to show you that and when we are little we can't make sense of any of it. That is wasn't us. It was all on them. You made it through and now you are learning to love those parts, to honor their experiences and to heal the past by learning these truths and understanding, and in that, healing the present.

You are so brave, so strong and such an inspiration to me. 

[Not Alone]

MoonBeam: I've been so grateful to you for your support and sharing parts of your similar journey through all this. It has been super hard, but my feet are back on solid ground. Thank you for:

I can say to you and believe 100% that you are a beautiful, worthy, lovable, brave and strong being, that I am worthy too.

I need to write that  in my journal and read it often. 

[MoonBeam]