Furniture/ordinary household items as triggers??

[holidayay]

It sounds a bit odd but I've been identifying some of my triggers as and when they happen and one of them has been when I walk past/into furniture stores. Especially used furniture stores where the items are quite old/antique-looking. It knocks the wind out of me and makes me feel this abyss of emptiness.....it just reminds me of having only myself and inanimate objects around me as a child that were safe and neutral. The living things in the house were either angry and ferocious or ready to shame, belittle and mock.
Old furniture...because we always had mismatched random furniture. My mum never, ever bothered to put any effort at all into the house. Once the ceiling collapsed through into the kitchen and she barely reacted. It was kept like that for weeks - i remember feeling so humiliated if/when kids around the neighbourhood would knock on the door to play because the kitchen was the very first room the door opened into...and there it was, as though a spaceship had landed through our ceiling, a big gaping hole with concrete and dust everywhere. I tried to clean it up as best I could aged 8, feeling anxious and scared that the kids would all start talking about the state of our house and then people would have even more reason to mock me.

I walked by a used furniture store last week and seeing the old furniture, in the shop that was closed, made life feel like it did when i was younger....completely devoid of hope, or any form of liveliness. Just this weird, cold empty feeling of nothingness.

Urgh and now I've just spent 5 days isolating. At first it felt good to rest but now it feels like im out of whack with the real world again.

[Kizzie]

 

I walked by a used furniture store last week and seeing the old furniture, in the shop that was closed, made life feel like it did when i was younger....completely devoid of hope, or any form of liveliness. Just this weird, cold empty feeling of nothingness.

Really sorry to hear you were triggered Holidayay, I know that feeling of hopelessness and cold empty nothingness too and it's awful. 

It's no wonder we don't want to remember or relive any of that trauma and why we need support in order to face our memories and feelings.  I hope you find some comfort and hope in sharing here 

[holidayay]

Thank you kizzie.
Boy is this tough.
I've left home early as I just couldn't cope today. no way

[Kizzie]

     i hope you have a lovely day and fill up on things that are positive and life affirming.   

[sanmagic7]

hey, holidayay,

sorry you're so messy right now.  what a horrible experience to have had to go thru.

just letting you know you're not alone as you get thru this.  please take care of you as best you can, ok?  sending love and a hug filled w/ what is instead of what was.