New here

[FreedomFromTrauma]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum and wanted to take a moment to introduce myself.

I'm 33 and realise now I've had some form of Cptsd for much of my life. I recently had interactions with therapists who said I likely had Cptsd but I dismissed this at the time, mostly I think because my sister has the same diagnosis and I wanted to distance myself from her, seeing having something 'wrong' with me as too shameful to handle.

Recently I've been reading up more about it (mostly in Pete Walker's book and on here) and see that I certainly have the symptoms of Cptsd though I oscillate between over and underempahsising how my childhood experiences led this to develop in me.

I feel like I've lived much of my life under a shadow that I am growing to see as the darkness of unprocessed emotional trauma from childhood abuse and neglect. I get triggered numerous times a day and would say I live in some degree of emotional flashback around 70% of the time. It's exhausting and it's time for me to focus my rage into the creation of a healthy, boundaried self.

I'm glad to be here and sharing about this from the safety of my own space.

[Snowdrop]

Hello, FreedomFromTrauma, and welcome to the forum.

[Kizzie]

Hi FreedomFromTrauma and a warm welcome to OOTS!   Glad you found your way here and I hope posting will bring a degree of relief from the intensity and frequency of your EFs, it did mine I'm happy to say.      

[marta1234]

Hi, welcome. Hopefully this forum will help you. I also want to say that you are not alone, I have, for some time now, been getting triggered a lot throughout the day with flashbacks. It is hard at first, but for me, knowing that I am not  my emotional flashbacks helps.
I'd also recommend checking out some of Richard Grannon's material, like the free course on "How to Stop Emotional Flashbacks". I find his audio file that comes with it and the hand mnemonic really helpful for grounding and calming myself down.

[Not Alone]

Welcome. 

[FreedomFromTrauma]

Hi everyone,

Thank you all for the warm welcome! I'm looking forward to exploring the forum and learning more about myself and you all.

Wishing you well,

FFT

[Kizzie]