Strange Trigger

[Lostgirl]

As I'm learning more and more about my triggers I have noticed a really strange one that I can't seem to work out or link back to my past.
When I hear my own name in the in the middle of a sentence I cringe and get a pang of panic and I have no idea why?
If someone's saying my name to ask a question or to get my attention it doesn't bother me but to hear it in a sentence seems so strange, almost like I don't deserve to have a name??
I don't know I can't seem to link it back to anything 🤷

[Hope67]

Hi Lostgirl,
I just read what you wrote, and I wanted to share what came to my mind about it.  I thought to myself, that maybe hearing your name in the middle of a sentence might refer to occasions when someone was talking 'about' you - it makes me think of maybe a young child listening and hearing someone talking 'about' them - and maybe (for some reason) that didn't feel safe at the time, and you were hypervigilant.  Occasions when a person's name is said to get attention or ask a question involves literally involving someone in a conversation - hence maybe there wasn't the same concern - i.e. at those times you were being invited to interact with someone, as opposed to somehow being talked about?

I don't know if that is something that makes sense - I'm literally just saying what came to mind when I read what you wrote.

Please ignore anything that doesn't resonate.

Hope 

[Kizzie]

   The same thing came to mind when I read your post LostGirl. 

[Lostgirl]

Thanks both.
I can't think of anything at the moment but I have so much of my memory missing anything that it's possible. I'm sure I will find a link at some point 🤔

[Kizzie]

One thing about CPTSD is that because our trauma was cumulative, it may not be one specific and clear memory that is triggering you, but an accumulation of more covert and less distinct incidences or a way of being treated you that singled you out and made you feel vulnerable or afraid. 

My M has covert NPD and  my CPTSD was a result of her "death by a thousand cuts" abuse. N behav can be quite triggering for me even when it is cloaked or somewhat hidden.  Your response could be something along those lines perhaps.