Luke 17:1-2

[sigiriuk]

The ones who tempt and cause the "little ones" to stumble should prefer a millstone tied around their neck and to be thrown into the sea. [Luke 17:1-2] "

My psychotherapist quoted this today, saying that Jesus thought CSA was a scandal.

For me this was poignant, as my abusers and one of my adopted parents were Christians. Quite naturally I want some revenge, in terms of balancing the books in the afterlife. And this little quote gave me hope.

The need for revenge kept me alive for so many years, and I could not have survived without this feeling, no matter how dark it may seem to you: revenge helped me to survive.

Slim

[Three Roses]

IMO it's not necessarily dark, it just is. I believe it's natural to want vindication, revenge, justice or whatever particular label suits your fancy. Emotions aren't right or wrong, or good or bad imo, it's what you do with them.

Just my two cents' worth. 😉

[Kizzie]

Quite the honest reaction I'd say!   

I think revenge also gives us hope, a degree of control over our abuse/neglect, and some relief from the anger and fear we feel so it is a helpful survival strategy I agree. 

I'm all about advocating now so our courts hold more abusers accountable as I don't think millstones would go over well these days

[Three Roses]

I don't think millstones would go over well these days

😂😂

[woodsgnome]

Well, I grew up in an awful FOO environment but an even worse experience awaited me in religious schools. While I was dumb -- or more likely just innocent -- enough to try and fall in line as I had no choice, something within me allowed me to see through their blatant hypocrisy as well.

After a while, one form of my revenge was re-envisioning my abusers. What they were doing is anything but funny -- it ranged from molestation to gaslighting to worse. Oddly, this produced a heavy form of dissociation on my part just to survive. Still, to feel even a tad better resiliency, I developed an inner (outer was dangerous) visualization of them as bumbling buffoons (this image has grown -- and helped -- over my years of climbing out of the pit they created. Much of my life's story has been about re-discovering the creative role I can play in reversing some of their damage.

Here comes the risky part, a peek into another facet of my approach, which involves humour. It may be important to know, though, than I'm rather spiritual by most people's standards, just not in the churchy religious milieu I was born into and schooled by.

That said, the humour risk doesn't seem so great. Nowadays It  often takes the form of word-games, including 'modifying' ostentatious sounding biblical gems like "Many Are Called, Few Are Chosen" into my own version: "Many Are Cold, Few Are Frozen". Other laugh-worthy examples abound in the writings of Swami Beyondananda and Rami Shapiro (especially his "Holy Rascals" book.)

Personally, I'd be more interested in church-style presentations if they'd break off some of the serious liturgy for a moment, or two, of laughter (not derisive, but more of a divine-human supportive) laughter. Indeed, one of the old observances during the Christmas season involved an intriguing day known as the Feast of Fools. 

[Pioneer]

Thanks for sharing those verses and for your thoughts and feelings on revenge! I also grew up in a Christian home, and at home there was lots of hypocrisy to what was being taught. I think that justice is a very natural response to this. And there is definitely a lot of wisdom, even when you were a child, to be discerning what was wrongdoing and wanting it to be made right.

I'll put a [trigger warning] here since the following verses from Psalm 37 are a bit graphic and could be a trigger depending on your experiences with the Bible.

I have been comforted by Psalm 37 as I've recently had to go CN with my parents due to continued abuse. It seems to me that Jesus/God takes very seriously his intent on revenge/justice. And as I've dealt with lots of bitterness, it's helped me to know that while I can and should speak justice against my malignant narcisstic parents actions, I'm ultimately not the one responsible for justice to happen. And that comforts me deeply, all the way to my inner child self. Psalm 37:12-15 says
The wicked plots against the righteous
      and gnashes his teeth at him,
      13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
      for he sees that his day is coming.

      14 The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows
      to bring down the poor and needy,
      to slay those whose way is upright;
      15 their sword shall enter their own heart,
      and their bows shall be broken.