Hard to form words

[Not Alone]

Sometimes I have trouble coming up with words or even just speaking. This is especially true when I'm in a therapy session talking about a trauma. Others had mentioned similar experiences so I want to share a portion of this article. The whole article is worth reading.

There is another area of the brain that is relevant here, called Broca's area. It is concerned with language and speech – with words. Like the hippocampus, it is also shut down when the smoke alarm is sounding. That is why in a state of terror, like a flashback of trauma, it is so difficult to get our words out. In a situation such as public speaking, at the moment that we most need to speak fluently, our mind goes blank and we literally cannot think of anything to say. This isn't some random occurrence – it is caused by Broca's area having reduced bloodflow in moments of high stress and so being 'turned off'. It's what Judith Lewis Herman calls the "wordless terror" of trauma.

But the flipside is that if we can get ourselves talking, or focusing on words such as through puzzles like wordsearches or crosswords, or by reading or journaling, we will be coaxing our brain to restore its bloodflow back to Broca's area again. And by doing that, it will start to turn on the front brain as a whole again. When a therapist gets you to talk about the weather, or football, or what you had for tea last night, it's not because they can't cope with your flashback or re-experience of your trauma – they're getting you out of a back-brain, triggered state by turning your front brain back on again. Some therapists are smarter than they look!

https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/managing-triggers-part-one-why-triggers-are-nothing-to-be-ashamed-of/

When I read this article, it brought to mind a time when my former therapist asked me what kind of car I drive. Now I know what he was doing. (BTW, I wasn't able to answer him in that moment.  )

[marta1234]

Thank you notalone for sharing this article. I've also realized (in my last therapy session) that for specific things I loss my ability to talk. Last time i talked about loss and I couldn't say it. It's like my mouth was shut closed.
Interesting to see the view from the therapist's side.

[Snookiebookie2]

Thanks for sharing.  I can struggle with this too.

[woodsgnome]

I experience this sense of not finding the right words, or any at all for that matter. In person with someone, this seems connected with what's called dissociation. While writing can thus be easier, I still find it difficult on places like OOTS, where my old fear of being misunderstood triggers me into doubts that I can even make sense.

In this dissociative state, thoughts and words can freeze up entirely. What's really odd about this, then, is how I thrived in my old career as an improv actor, where quick wit and readiness with words was of prime importance. I wonder about this but have no consistent answer as to that contradiction -- maybe it has to do with being outside one's own hurt personality while performing.

One other note on this, though. During this time of extra social hardship, my therapy has gone to tele-therapy and I'm finding it easier in some respects. Even though my T is very non-judgemental and congenial, I still tend to kick into  fear mode in-person, and I can fall into the frozen-words state.

She always reassures me when these incidents occur that dissociation is very natural for survivors of deep traumas. I miss her saying this in person, but still find the distance aspect a bit easier than in-person. This may be due to the fact that I've been with her a few years. Perhaps that helps the more indirect format.

This is all so mysterious, and sometime so contradictory. And always a strain to try and figure out. So we plod along as best we can.