Loving myself by loving a cat

[AphoticAtramentous]

A few years ago I lived in a unit. I loved cats, have always wanted one, but the landlord wouldn't allow cats. So the next best thing I found was to volunteer at a cat shelter! I really enjoyed meeting all the different cats and I was volunteering there for a year, even after I moved into my own pet-friendly place.

One day I went to the shelter and noticed a pen with a mother and 5 kittens. Typically the mothers are very protective of their young and get a little hissy if you get too close. But to my dismay, the mother seemed to be hissing at her kittens! She would also steal their food and neglect their needs for attention. I tried to raise this issue with the shelter owner but it took them a while to do anything about it. As the weeks went by, the kittens were adopted one by one until it was just one last kitten and the mother. Even after those weeks they weren't separated and I hated seeing the mother bullying her kitten but I didn't have the authority to do much. Thankfully though another week passed and I found they'd finally been separated - one last kitten with a cage to herself. I felt a huge sense of relief and came over to greet her. And then she did this...



That was the moment I realised I HAD to adopt this cat. It was not in my plans at all to adopt a cat so soon but I had to. I felt something pulling me towards her. So a few days later I came home with her in my little cat carrier, and showed her to her own kitten room (a repurposed study room). Knowing how her mother treated her, I knew it wasn't going to be an easy start. She was petrified at first, being in a house for the first time. Initially she always hid behind things, and she'd only eat when I was out of the room. I would occasionally try to touch her but she'd hiss and I respectfully backed off. Sometimes I'd just sit in the room with her and talk, throw some toys around to get her interested. Slowly but surely she began to trust me, trust that I wouldn't steal her food, trust that I wouldn't "hiss" at her like how her mother did. I still remember the first time she sniffed my hand, the first time she let me pat her, the first time she sat on my lap... all very small things but such huge milestones for someone with her upbringing.

This was a few years ago. Now... she follows me everywhere, can spend literal hours asleep next to me, enjoys being cradled like a baby, loves to play fetch, I've even taught her how to do some tricks. Her name is Olive, but my partner and I also refer to her affectionately as my "moon" or "shadow", because she's dark and constantly orbits around me. She reminds me of myself so much. She too is scared of strangers, she too is skittish to loud noises, she too has a complicated relationship with food, she too had a hard start to life - but we've both made so much progress. When she's hurt, I feel her pain myself. When she's wanting something, I do everything in my power to give her what she wants. She reminds me that my response to trauma is normal and expected, and that it sometimes takes a little while to do things that others can do so easily - but she has shown me that it is entirely possible to flourish, despite the hardships.

Even as I write all this, she is sleeping next to me right now.  It feels so incredibly soothing to give her the love and affection I wish I had as a child. She has taught me so much about self-care and self-respect, and I'm so grateful to have her, so happy that I could make a difference in her life.

Regards,
Aphotic.

[Hope67]

Hi Aphotic,
I really enjoyed reading about your relationship with your lovely cat Olive. 
Hope 

[Chart]

Thankyou Aphotic.
  🐈

[Papa Coco]

Aphotic,

Olive is a lucky soul to have found you, and you are just as lucky to have found her.

Thank you for sharing this endearing story.

[Cascade]

Aphotic,
What a heartwarming story, thank you! 🥹
  -Cascade and two cuddly kitties here

[Desert Flower]

That's just so wonderful Aphotic, thank you for sharing.

I have a similar story. I also once adopted two cats who were being kicked around by their owner. The owner was a pretty violent guy, he was my landlord at the time. When I told him I was keeping the cats, he didn't even care. So I kept them. They were damaged of course, but still we became good friends and with time the trust grew. We had some great times together too. They were called Adam and Ian.

Cuddles to you and Olive!

[AphoticAtramentous]

Thank you all, I'm glad you could all find some satisfaction in it.

That's just so wonderful Aphotic, thank you for sharing.

I have a similar story. I also once adopted two cats who were being kicked around by their owner. The owner was a pretty violent guy, he was my landlord at the time. When I told him I was keeping the cats, he didn't even care. So I kept them. They were damaged of course, but still we became good friends and with time the trust grew. We had some great times together too. They were called Adam and Ian.

Cuddles to you and Olive!

I'm glad you were able to take them off him. As with any person or animal with trauma, they do end up having their own quirks, and even challenges... But it can be very rewarding for both you and the pets. Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
Aphotic.