Hope's Journal: Still Befriending My Parts.

[Blueberry]

Earlier today I said to my partner that I thought maybe my FOO (parents) hadn't been very good at parenting, and he replied simply by saying 'They weren't very nice people' - which made me gasp a little, but also take stock that actually I don't think they were!  I agreed with him.

   I wish we had a high five but we don't seem to. I came to this realisation about FOO a few months ago. I'm so glad you have a supportive partner to give you these ideas at a time when you can take them on board i.e. far enough along in healing. Just thinking back to your and my early days on the forum. Such a thought wouldn't have crossed my mind and if I remember correctly, even if it had crossed yours, you wouldn't have been able to write it.

  Now I feel a bit silly...

But I've decided not to erase or change any words I say here.

No reason for you to feel silly!!    Though I understand the feeling, me who changes own words on here and explains everything two- and three-fold so no misunderstandings possible. So I think your decision here is a big step!

[Hope67]

Hi Woodsgnome,

I really liked what you wrote about finding light on the path once more, as it evoked a strong visual of an actual path, within a forest, and leading to the Secret Garden!!!  Where I knew that lots of folk who understand can be found!  Anyway that's what came to my mind, and I am thankful to you for saying that.   

Hi Marta,

Thank you for your support and care, I am very grateful for that, and feel your warmth.   Thank you 

Hi Blueberry,

I really appreciate your High Five equivalents, they are great     Thanks for reminding me that I am far along enough in healing to take something on board, as that's a good point, and I realise it now.  I think you and I started on this forum around the same kind of time, you might have been here a bit before me, I don't know, but I felt like we were here at similar times.

************
2nd January 2021

I'm going to start a new Journal, as it's a new year.  I had hoped to have more realisations to reflect on, but it was tough getting to this point - I found I have 'felt' so many more emotions this year - but I think that's because I'm more in touch with my emotions than I ever might have been in the past.  Less numbing, and literally feeling more! 

I'm intending to start a new Journal next time I write in here. 

I am thankful to everyone who has replied to me in my Journals and for all your support and I will hope to look back on the journals from time to time, to see the changes over time in the things I've been focusing on.



Feeling emotional as it feels like an 'ending' but I am telling myself, it's not an ending, just the closure of a journal entry, and I can open another and that's ok! 

Hope 

[Tee]

  it is ok Hope, to start something new.  It will not erase all the love support and progress you have here.  It will just give you somewhere else too start this year and see where it takes you!
  Good luck in 2021 I hope its a real good year of healing for all of us.

[Hope67]

Thank you Tee 

It was hard for me to start a new journal - but I've managed to do it.   

Hope