Hi! Introduction

[GraceM]

Hello,

My name is Grace, and this is my first post!
I am here for the community and to learn more about CPTSD. My therapist told me that I have reactive attachment disorder and CPTSD due to childhood neglect (my mother had bipolar disorder as well as her own trauma and her caregiving was very inconsistent, while my father was totally checked out and unconcerned with his children's welfare). I was extremely socially isolated as a child, having been removed from school by my mom at the age of 7, and I did not receive any education at all for approximately ten years.

I am just now coming to terms with the effects of my childhood. Relationship challenges have been the motivation for me to seek help and therapy, but I now know that the interpersonal difficulties are just a symptom of a bigger issue, not the problem itself.
The primary concerns I face now are strong feelings of being "less than" others, fear of abandonment, a lack of boundaries, and difficulty with stating my needs. I also experience episodes of intense emotional disregulation sometimes culminating in extended crying sessions and long-lasting unease (sometimes for a couple of days at a time).

I have noticed that as time goes by, and I engage in more therapy and self-empathy, things are getting better. I have been more able to handle my emotions on my own without dumping them on my partner. I am also developing my ability to nurture and speak kindly to myself, which has been a great relief.

I am glad to be here and looking forward to learning and connecting with other people who are facing similar challenges.

[Bermuda]

Welcome Grace.

I can relate to a lot of what you said. It's wonderful that you are practicing self-empathy and have seen some improvement. I hope you are able to find that sense of community you seek.

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum, Grace 

[Alter-eg0]

Welcome, Grace

[woodsgnome]

Hi, Grace  and welcome to the forum.

Going through various forms of cptsd, and the recovery journey can be a rough ride. It helps to know there are others here who have travelled this road. I hope you find it a helpful place to view and most important, feel inspired to find a way forward.

[Not Alone]

Welcome, Grace.

[Kizzie]

Hello and a warm welcome to OOTS Grace      Glad you found your way here and I hope you find the info and support here helpful in your recovery

[GraceM]

Thank you all so much!
It means a lot to me that there are other people making the same journey. I look forward to learning and and being part of this supportive community

[Kizzie]