Letter to little me

[Elphanigh]

I have been meaning to come here and write letters, several come to mind but I think a letter to younger me is the most important one at this moment. I will try to address younger me by ages if I decide to address different parts.


Dear little me,

I want you to know I am here for you now and that you deserve to rest now. You did such an amazing job and it is my turn to do the job now. I think you are such an amazing six year old and you deserve to get to play soccer, chase the mail man, and practice singing to Broadway songs. Thank you for working so hard to keep yourself safe and for helping your family so much. You did so well, and I promise I will hard to do the same.

I hear you when you say you are sorry for hurting L, but I promise that it isn't your fault. I am sorry that I blamed you for so long, it was really hard to look at that memory until now, and I am sorry I left you alone with it for so long. You did not deserve to hold the burden of that blame or guilt, you did everything you could and more than anyone should have ever expected. I see how much you care about her and know you did everything you could to protect her. It was not your job, but I am so proud of you for doing it. It shows how good and loving you are. You deserve to know how much she loves you and how much I love you. I promise you do not need to say sorry anymore, it was really scary and I am here to help with that now.



to be continued... going these in chunks as I get emotionally with younger me feeling this as I write. Inner child work is a weird little thing. 

[RiverRabbit]

Wow...

So many similarities.  This hits some chords.

Thank you for sharing this.

[Elphanigh]

I am sorry that you have experienced similar feelings  Glad that me sharing these can be good though

[Mojo50]

Absolutely beautiful. Your words totally echo what I have written to my IC and the sadness I feel over blaming her for so long when she was so innocent and ignorant.
I feel like the only way to heal is through loving my IC to pieces.🥰

[Elphanigh]

So I wanted to write another letter to younger me and remembered I left one here. Upon reading it, I realize that almost two years has meant such massive change for me. It feels good to put this here.

Dear little me,

We have done it! We have done more than either of us could have imagined in these last two years.. and really more than we could have imagined in a lifetime. All that time you spent dreaming, hoping and fighting for something better that was beyond where you feels like it is finally coming to fruition. We have worked harder than anyone will ever fully know but we have done it. I am finally the person you needed back then and so much more beyond that. i am the person I need myself to be now. I am finally getting to make decisions fully for myself and from a place of power, hope, and joy. I am making decisions to be happy and full of love not out of survival or necessity. I love the person I have worked so hard to be. We have more work to do but I am okay and whole just as I am and so are you.

I have released you from the blame and guilt you once felt and you have let it go as well. We know our worth and feel fully supported not only by the people around us but also within ourselves. It is the fullest and best feeling I have ever gotten to have.

Little me, I know this looks different than what we dreamt of back then but I think we found exactly what we needed. We can help so many people including us. We can help people and still be happy ourselves. We have such beautiful people in our lives, ones that I trust with everything because they have been there through everything. I have so much hope for us both, even on tough days, because I can finally see part of what others have been trying to tell us all of our life.

We have made it to a place of stability, happiness, and real joy. One that i know even in tough times will return to us because it is a part of our being now.

I am so sorry for all that you experienced and I know that nothing will ever take it away but we have come so far in healing the hurt around it. So far in adding such positive powerful experiences to life that the past is part of our story but the biggest piece anymore. We are exactly where we need to be and it is beautiful here. There is work to come but I know we can enjoy life while doing the work and that no matter what that brings we have been through the worst parts already. I love who we have become and there is nothing and no one that could change that.

Little, I hope you can feel and enjoy this too. It is like magic in a world that has done so much to get rid of magic. So different from what you imagined but so much better as well.

Love, big you