Medication & guilt

[Marian82]

I use a tiny bit of medication...a small childrens dose of antipsychotics and since a week a small dose of temazepam/restoril.

Im having a real bad time, but i dont want to use meds.

I feel it is against my faith. And i have trouble that i feel im covering up my real "evil" me and my real thoughts, feelings by a fake person.

When im off meds im overwhelmed though by thoughts of how horrible i am, all my past mistakes come before my eyes, and im terrified of afterlife. It feels like faking if i use meds to cover that up. I feel I should trust on God.

Anyone else who has issues taking meds? How do you deal with it?

[Patticake]

Hi Maryann - 

I have had the same thoughts & feelings about taking meds. I felt, in the past, like I was being weak if I took meds, & that I was letting God down by not trusting Him more. I suffered so much from that thinking. God doesn't want us to suffer & gives mankind medicine to ease pain, cure sicknesses, ease anxiety, depression & other mental problems.

I, personally, began to see significant improvement in myself when I made up my mind to stay on my medication, consistently.
I prayed & asked God to help me & He did.
There is no shame in needing medication to help us. I thank God for it. When I think about how much suffering there would be without medication, I shudder.

Please follow your Doctor's advice in taking your medicine, and stop suffering needlessly.
I totally understand what you're going through & I know you can overcome it because I did.

Stay connected here & know we are all here for you. Keep us posted on your progress. You can do this & we're all rooting for you.
God bless you. You are in my prayers.

[Marian82]

Thank you for your help and encouragement!

[Three Roses]

There is no shame in needing medication to help us. I thank God for it.

On top of the social stigmas surrounding mental health and medications, we who believe in God are sometimes unnecessarily pressured by our communities (or sometimes just our own beliefs) to rely on faith alone.

I have also struggled with this issue. I wanted to be strong enough, faithful enough, happy enough, without meds. So I tried coming off of them. It was not good. Now I'm back on them and feeling much, much better. The most important aspect for me is my ability to reach out to others who are hurting with cptsd, which I could not do when I was off of medication.

It's funny, but I don't feel the same about other things, like medicine for infections, or treatments for disease, or even casts and slings for injuries. And when you get right down to it, we are injured, not "sick". It comes down to that social stigma against mental illness. I don't believe God wants us to suffer when there is relief. We are more able to reach out and help others when we take care of ourselves first. 💗👍

[JakobBolu]

I think that you should listen to yourself. Of course, you can be different, nobody is the same every time. But if the voice that guides you is God's voice, then you should listen carefully.

[BeeKeeper]

There are times in life when as much as I'd like to function well, be strong and overcome, I can't. Usually there are a number of different factors which all converge to present insurmountable challenges. In February 2021, I recognized that I was losing my "grip" and asked for help. Naturally, that was a month away.

Fast forward to now and have dragged my feet with a clinical dose of an SSRI, choosing to stay at a sub-clinical dose for 2 months. I chose to stop torturing myself with "should's", "if only's" and bypassed the God question. My sole criteria is daily functioning and enjoying the life I have been given-disabilities and all.  I'm on the second day of taking the minimum therapeutic dose.

[sanmagic7]

as a therapist, i ran the gamut of thinking 'i should' be able to deal with these traumatic memories, incidents, and situations and how they impacted me, and i 'should' be able to figure it out myself.  what i've learned over the years is that medicine, whether it's for the mind or the body, is something to utilize in order to function on a day to day basis, to be able to have the stability in order to work through my issues, and to be able to heal from my wounds.

for me, the God part became a comfort, knowing that there are many techniques and therapy, including medication therapy, that have been created to help those of us who suffer.  just like crutches might be used when one breaks their leg, having and using the crutches helps the leg to heal by keeping the pressure off the break.  they're not necessarily forever, but we can rejoice that they were created to help us move around in the world until the healing is complete.  that will be different for everyone - some injuries are worse than others, some impact us differently than they do others. imagine the pain involved, the instability produced, and the fears that present themselves in attempting to do your everyday life with no help for a broken leg.

meds are not an easy decision, but a very personal one.  during my days as a sunday school teacher, i heard the story of the man who climbed to his roof as floodwaters rose around his house. someone on a boat came by and offered help, but the man said 'i'm waiting for God to save me.'  then, as the waters rose to the roof, a helicopter came by offering assistance.  the man turned it away, citing the same reason. after the man drowned and went to heaven, he asked God why He didn't save him. God said 'i sent a boat and a helicopter, and you refused them both. what were you waiting for?'

i don't repeat this story to sound trite or disrespectful or preachy, but only to say that this story helped me look at the resources and assistance available to me, and that they were all valid.  i'm using meds now, have had some newly prescribed to treat other symptoms which have shown up as the years (and more trauma took place) passed.  i'm grateful for them now, because i'm getting some relief for the pain and suffering my traumas have caused me.  they may not be necessary forever, but for now they help. i know you'll find the best way for you.  may i offer a hug filled with faith