Health Scare, Angry *TW*

[Armadillo]

Y'all. I'm so angry! Which is a good thing. This is good practice. Hah. I am forever a pollyanna looking for the good in the bad. It's what has allowed me to be mistreated over and over!

My dad. I never knew him but he and my mom were married and my older sister lived with him for 4 yrs in the house. He was a bad person, I don't know what he went through to be that way. Among other things he tried to kill my mom while she was pregnant with me.

I actually forgive him for everything. Maybe cause I wasn't around for it. But I just found out he had a deadly genetic disease, one that has a 50/50 chance of being passed to your offspring.

He did not tell his children instead he lied and told his doctors he didn't have kids. I'm so mad. I have a test this week to find out if I have it. And I'm ok with that. I just can't fathom not finding a way to share that information so we could do things to prolong our life. I found out from an autopsy report after he completed suicide.

I can't even understand. Like if you have an STD, you find your past partners and tell them. Even if it was a one night stand, even if you hate the person. How could you not try to protect your kids, your grandkids from a highly inheritable deadly genetic disease?  Ugh. Just so selfish.

[Jazzy]

That's horrible Armadillo, I'm so sorry. You have every right to be angry.

I hope your test has the results you're hoping for, and I'm glad to hear you aren't making the same mistakes as him!

[Not Alone]

supporting you in your anger

[Armadillo]

Thanks Jazzy and notalone.

I was hoping for more anger from myself.  I got some aggressive sounding swear words out in the car the first couple days. I wrote a "letter" to him. And then the anger fizzled. I suppose that is how it is supposed to be. I have an ultrasound today and I am curious if that will reignite some emotions. I think I probably don't have it. Technically it's a 50/50 shot but since symptoms start usually between 30 and 50 yrs old and I'm 43 with no symptoms I'm gonna say I'm more like 70/30 with luck on my side. Also therapy this evening. Should be interesting. T has been waiting for me to get angry for a long time.

[Armadillo]

Whoot whoot! No deadly inheritable disease. The ultrasound tech was super nice and told me right away there was nothing there instead of letting me worry until the doc read the scan. Thank goodness.